you had me at hello

Dear Husband, I was thinking about you, again. You are constantly on my mind. I wanted to call you so badly today, just call and talk with you. I wanted to have one of those conversations where we simply talked about things in general and nothing in particular, nothing pressing, no bills or where you had to be. Just talk. For some reason, I was thinking about the first time we talked.

I remember that moment clearly. I had gone into the break room for lunch. I had seen you before, but you were always talking with others. This time, we were the only two in the room. I felt you watching me, though I tried to ignore it.  I concentrated on the sandwich in my hands and the mayonnaise that was oozing out around the edges. Still, I felt your eyes on me and I knew, this was different.

You walked over and asked if you could sit down. Break time was short, so our conversation was as well. I don't recall all the words, just the feeling. You were such a handsome man, very interesting and entertaining to talk with. As I rose to return to work, I knew we would talk more. By our next conversation we had planned our first date. It didn't take long for the fact we were seeing each other to get around the manufacturing plant where we worked. It turns out that you had just recently broken up with someone else who worked there. I was concerned but you told me that she had broken it off with you and that I shouldn't be worried. That was difficult though, the looks I got, the comments that I knew were being made. It became an even more difficult place to work. A lot of the people there lived a lifestyle that I did not, that difference made things hard enough, now this. But I thought, no, I felt and knew, this was different and you were special. I also knew that with the other one still working there, and you were now seeing me, you had become the forbidden fruit. Forbidden fruit is always tastier and always a challenge to be had.

 With in four months, we were living together. You had asked me several times, I had told you I would think about it. Then one day, I showed up at your door and meager belongings in hand, moved in. We were living in a mobile home that you had recently purchased. It was small but plenty big enough for the two of us. You had rented a spot in a mobile home park, high on a hill, woods to the back and nosy neighbors all around. We worked hard to make this a home. It wasn't long before I left the work place where we met. They had made ultimatums that I felt were unfair and unwarranted and in fact, an attempt to get me to do things I did not wish and refused to be bullied into. Times were different back then, I found a new job quickly. It was the night shift, but that was okay. The job was not bad, and the pay was much better than I had been making.We worked different shifts and you still worked at the place we had met. I got a call one afternoon, it was a call that was supposedly from someone that you had picked up at a bus station. Funny how I was hearing all of the familiar nosies from the plant in the background. I asked them to call back the next day, when they did I gave them this really long list of names who had called and that theirs was near the bottom but I was sure he would return their call when he got to them. They never called again.

 Your daughter by a previous marriage was an added blessing to our life. She was so much fun, so charming, a sweet smile in a life of adults and parenting. I remember the time we got her this small, yellow kitten. She let it outside to take care of business and it disappeared. She was heartbroken and I was angry. Days later we found it a few trailers down. I stopped the car and asked for our kitten back. The kids that were playing with it, returned it, saying they had found it. I just said thank you as I handed my step-daughter, the girl who is now my daughter of the heart, her kitten back. We knew then that Tiger, would not be allowed outside unless someone was with him the entire time.

 In the course of time, you asked me to marry you. We had been together just a couple of weeks shy of a year. With a joyous yes, we made plans to make a trip down to York, South Carolina and get married. Your daughter, one of your sisters and your nephew went with us. It was a short ceremony but it was official. We were husband and wife and life was wonderful.

 We decided to move the mobile home to an acre of land down on the dirt road where I grew up and my family still lived. We got the land cleared, then made arrangements for the moving. We secured everything we could, we placed fragile items on the floor, we watched as they secured the home and prepared to move. I drove ahead and waited. Professionals that they were, it didn't take them long to have it moved and set up. While we waited on getting a well dug, my brother who lived beside us now, allowed us to hook into his well. The company that was to dig the septic tank would be there soon. Everything, eventually fell into place. My husband, you weren't happy when the company did not listen to you and put the septic tank in the wrong place, but they tried to make it up by extending the drain lines. That first year, there was this amazing growth of daisies growing along the side of our home. We had people come in and clear more of the lot, extending our yard, preparing for out forever life.

 Over the course of time, we had dogs, we had this crazy goat who thought it was a dog and we had a variety of other critters in our life. You had feared living so close to my parents but you soon came to love them as much as I did. They treated you no differently than any other family member.

When we found out that our son was on his way, we were so incredibly happy. Everything changed, my grandfather passed away before our son was born. Mom and dad moved into his house and we bought and moved into this one. We made a home and we made plans for James. Your daughter grown now, at times lived with us, and at times lived with her mom. You could tell she was wanting a place of her own.

When James was born, you were in seventh heaven. You had a son to carry on your name.

I could go on and on, repeating stuff that you already know and remember. All the stuff that happened, all the battles we fought trying to make a good life. Job loss and job changes, James, when you learned how and took that first truck driving job.

I wanted to call you today. I wanted to call and hear your voice. I wanted to talk with you about everything and nothing, about silly things, loving things. I wanted to discuss that vacation you wanted to take this year.

I wanted to let you know, that I love you, and to remind you, that you had me all that long ago, all the way to now and beyond, at hello.