I don't own a lot of "things". I don't have a big house, fancy car, or an Olympic size pool out back. But, in my heart, I feel rich beyond measure.
I won't go into the this verses that of big and fancy verses smaller and more ordinary. We've all seen those in some form or fashion. While I am sure that bigger homes are nice, with plenty of room for guests, parties and places to hide when you need a private moment. Larger homes may also feel more empty when guests and family are gone.
My home, the size that it is, holds a mansion's worth of memories. I grew up in this house. Together with my parents and two brothers, we filled this house with life. We enjoyed meals around the table, we sat together to watch television, and even at times, has those Walton, good-night John Boy moments as the day ended and night took over.
The yard, bare of grass then, and bare of grass now, held impromptu ball games, bicycle races, puppies were raised and laughter rang out through the woods. Growing up, there were no apartments on the other side of the dirt road, it was woods and they were a grand and exciting playground. Often we were found climbing high into the pine trees, no concerns over how mom was going to get the pine sap out of our clothing. We were adventurers, living the high life.
The dirt road on which we live, took its turn at being a race track, a ball field, a parade ground. At that time, traffic on the road was practically non-existent. The traffic that was, traveled the road safely and with care over the youth that were often in the way.
The woods behind the house, were then and are now, magical and healing. They draw you in, calling to your heart, offering a peace and calm not found in the crazed pace of the outside world.
As a teenager, trying to come of age and find a balance, I spent hours in these woods. I didn't seem to fit with this group or that one. I felt alienated, alone, different. I still am, but there is a difference. Then, in those woods, imagination was king. The outside world held no place there. No one was around to bring the unrest and ills of society to its simple purity. I never learned the proper protocol for societal interaction, but I learned how to balance the thoughts in my head and find peace with who I felt I was.
As an adult returning home from a failed marriage with an abusive husband, just being here, healed a damaged heart. To be able to look out onto the place of my youth, healed a hurt mind.
As an adult, battling cancer, I found hope within the trees and under the canopy of leaves. Along those all familiar paths, there was always something different to inspire and bring hope. Among those trees, along that creek, there was peace in the battle, and guidance in the struggle. In what awaited, I found the knowledge, I was not alone. while no physical person walked with me, no one went with me to treatments, no one came to check on me, I was not alone and I was comforted by that.
As an adult, grieving a loss so great, in those woods there is solace. On the days when all is quiet, there is peace. A calm to soothe the heart, mind and spirit. Time to walk through the high grasses, or along the open paths and simply feel. The over flowing of peace, that wraps like a soft blanket around me, comforting the aches and easing the pain. The days when nature is at its most vocal, when the birds are filled with song and the bullfrog, tree frog and crickets join in a magical harmony. When you hear the squirrel barking and carrying on in near frantic fashion, it is the best concert around.
How can I feel alone, when the hummingbird visit the feeder outside my window often? How can I feel alone, when the racoon and possum visit the backyard in search of any scraps the stray cat may have missed? How can I feel alone, when the blackbirds have returned to search the yard as well, calling out loudly and often to inform or warn?
So I am wealthy in many ways, in that I have a home, I have transportation, I have a job, I have food and clothing. I have a Savior who never leaves me alone.
If I feel alone, it is my own incorrect thoughts. It is the deceiver attempting to divert my thoughts from where they need to be. It is the me, who feels those moments of self-pity that makes me poor.
My husband was called home before me. It has been just over two years now that I have been a part of that group called widowhood. For a while, the loneliness of being one, was near unbearable. For a while, I thought of him every moment, could I have done this or that or something else that would have helped his heath, kept him here just a little longer? In the end, you realize, our time is not our own. Even if in any way, I could have helped him improve his health, when it was his time, he would have still been called home. I have been bereft, I have been broken of heart, I have been alone, I have felt poor and without peace. I had lost sight of what was right outside my window. I had forgotten to look at the great wealth before me.
Recently I have been writing again, revisiting a story line that I had abandoned when I left my teen years behind. Characters that lived on, even without my visitations. To have found them again, reminds me of a time before the reality of being an adult took hold. A time before the struggles and mental, physical and emotional pain. A return, to a time of fun and innocence. There is even fun, in sharing of the exploits of these characters, and seeing the expressions on the face of those listening to me. Finding them again, has brought something back that I had thought lost. Found once again, in those woods.
I have come to realize and remember something that I had lost sight of in my grief and other life experiences. That all of the material wealth in the world is of this world. It is not something that I have need of, or should really even want. I should- and am beginning to- find that peace, contentment and happiness, in what I have been given and lay up my real treasures in Heaven. My quest should be to find ways to bring good things to those around me. My driving force, should be to show where my hope and faith rests. My striving, should be in showing how my faith and trust in the Lord, gives me hope and a better life here while I wait for my time to be there. I struggle at times, but those struggles are what bring me closer to where my hope, peace and treasure await. The gift, the treasure, that I have been given here, are the woods that bring me closer to my Lord, in the quiet times, and in the symphonies. There, I have my own garden of Eden, and the walks with the Lord.
I don't need a big house, a fancy vehicle, or even an Olympic sized pool. I have all the wealth I need, or could ever want, right outside my door. I have those special woods, a creek and the memories that yet remain in heart and mind.
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