Not as Bad as Made Out to Be

 

As I was scrolling through the memory posts on social media I read one that has popped up in slightly different forms many times. It was a reminder about being compassionate toward the older folks. Discussing how they once were young and able but time has slowed them down and some or many of life's changes confuses them. But many also are filled with examples of how the older people are ignored.

I'm seeing that every time we want to attempt to make changes in life and society, we often begin with a divisive measure. We know that there are people who are ignored. It isn't only the elderly, society has become so self centered many do not see needs around them. Some are afraid to help not knowing whether it is a ruse and they will end up robbed or worse. Some are afraid that they are dealing with a sue happy individual. My thoughts are, if you see a need and can safely help, please do so. If you have concerns or it is a need where you are unable to assist, find someone who is able to do what is needed.

Here's the thing though, those videos and social media posts want to make it appear that the majority of people ignore the elderly, ignore those in need, ignore and walk on toward where ever they were headed. This is incorrect. Allow me to use my own experiences with my parents. My mother is 89 and my dad is closing in on 95. My mother uses a cane when she walks and my dad, because of falls, uses a walker. The people who were so strong, so capable, so able to do what ever was needed, when it was needed, now need assistance. They do not get out as much as they once did because of this. They no longer drive and when they do go out,  someone has to be with them in case they lose their balance. Something as simple as a stumble, stepping on a loose stone, a liquid spill could be disastrous. This means they walk much slower. Here, is where I make mention that most of the people who have been around when we are out, have been very kind.

Where I take mom grocery shopping, they always-always-always ask about her and my dad if mom is not with me if I check out through one of our regular people. We've had employees go out of their way to help my mother find or reach something. Since they did the remodel of the store, finding a cool bottle of water is not as easy as it once was. Several times the people we were checking out through have stopped what they were doing and got her water. When we've crossed the parking lot heading away from or back to the car, people have waited without signs of frustration or annoyance because of her slow walk. Yesterday while looking for batteries while the individual was restocking the display they told mom they could help her and handed her a coupon for a nice discount.

My dad recently got hearing aids. The building the office is in has a long sloping handicap ramp. The gentleman who helps my dad with his hearing aids, also makes sure they get in and out of the building safely. He has walked with my mother, holding her arm gently as she walks the ramp. He speaks with kindness and respect with every visit.

The county police have been out a couple of times. They know of my dad's moments of confusion. They have taken their time with him, spoken kindly, compassionately and without annoyance over the call.

Those are a few of my experiences. They show that while those videos, memes and written posts are not fully correct. While I know it is an attempt to bring attention and correct wrongs, it paints an incorrect picture. It isn't only about age either. Many seem to think they must create videos, write blogs, share comments that start with a depiction of a wrong in order to bring attention and teach correct attitudes. In some though, I fear it only feeds and fuels divisiveness among us. In Star Trek, Spock said "The needs of the many, outweighed the needs of the few..." in this world, the actions of the few, do not represent the actions and thoughts of the many.  I agree that we need to improve, that we could be and do better. But we are not as bad as we are being made out to be.