She

Closing the door to the U-Haul she smiled. They had managed to get everything in there after all. One thing was for sure, there was no worry about anything falling and breaking, you couldn’t have slid a sheet of paper in that trailor. Turning, she crossed the driveway and entered the mobile hoome. This was what she had called home for the last year, now she was leaving. Wandering through the empty rooms she checked one final time to make sure that they hadn’t left anything. Her steps echoed along the hallway. It was an odd feeling walking through here now. Empty as it was it felt different, foreign. The memories she had made her weren’t all good, but there were enough of them that she would not forget this place. Hearing the car horn blowing she turned and walked out. Pulling the door closed behind her she crossed to the car. Louisianna, here we come, she thought as she opened the car door and slipped into her seat.




As the car pulled out of the drive she waved good-bye to the few people that were out in their yards. A few of these folks she would honestly miss, they had been good to her. By the time they had reached the interstate she had settled back and was watching the familiar landscape passing by. Soon all that she knew as home would be behind her. It had been a long time since she had lived anywhere but here.



By the time they reached the North Carolina- South Carolina state line he was tired of driving. Pulling the car over he instructed her to take his place, she was driving the rest of the way. Having learned by now not to argue she switched places with him. She had never driven a vehicle pulling a trailor, nor had she ever driven as far as they were going. Grasping the steering wheel she checked traffic and then pulled out onto the highway.



It was dark by the time they reached Atlanta, Georgia. Trying her best to follow directions that were nothing less than confusing she watched the road signs. When a convertible Mustang loaded with teenagers came barreling onto the interstate without looking she jerked the wheel. She realized her mistake immediately as the car and trailor swerved dangerously. She ignored the cursing coming from the seat beside her as she regained control of the car. The teenagers long gone she took a deep breath and continued driving. Somewhere in Alabama she took a wrong turn when she missed a road detour. In the middle of nowhere with nowhere to turn around he woke. It had been much more peaceful with just the sound of his snoring beside her. Ranting and raging now at her mistake he demanded she turn around. The word ‘where?’ screamed through her mind but she did not verbalize it. She scanned the roadway as best that she could. It was well past midnight, she was beyond tired and tears were threatening. In the pitch black of the night there was nowhere to turn around on this back country road. When he bellowed out againg for her to just turn the damn car around she had no choice. Pulling over to the side of the road as far as she could she began to manauever her turn. She ignored the cursing coming from the seat beside her as she finally managed to get turned around without getting stuck or damaging anything.



Going back in the direction she had come she was overjoyed to find a gas station still open. She was even more happy to find out that she hadn’t really gone that far out of the way. Listening carefully to directions she paid for the gas and got back in the car. Reluctantly she took hold of the steering wheel and pulled back onto the road.



Time meant nothing. Miles and hours passed and she grew numb to everything. She somehow managed to remain awake as she drove through the night. He had fallen asleep again and it was quiet but for his snoring and the radio playing softly. She watched road signs and white lines passing. Home was so far away now, somewhere in the back of her mind lurked regrets. How and why had it come to this..but this had been her choice and she would somehow make the best of it.



Sunlight was streaking across the sky as they crossed Louisianna. She rolled her shoulders as she drove. They had passed New Orleans, crossed many bridges and passed acres of fields lining the roads. He was watching the road, telling her it wasn’t far now. Crossing the I-10 bridge in Lake Charles they left the interstate and entered Westlake, Louisianna. Following his directions she pulled into a gravel parking area. Stopping the car where he told her she watched as he got out and climbed a set of stairs. Exhaustion swept over her but she couldn’t give in, not yet. It was all she could do to release the steering wheel. Her fingers refused to open. Mentally she forced them to move, crying out in the insueing pain. Opening and closing her hands she fought to get the feeling back in her fingers. She refused to look at her watch, she didn’t want to know just yet how long she had driven.



She watched as he crossed back to the car. He was angry. His stiff walk and loud cursing making his mood obvious. She watched as he yanked the car door open. Dropping into the seat he pointed at the mobile home that was now their home. She didn’t ask what had angered him, she didn’t want to know, and yet she knew before long she would know. Carefully following directions she moved the car. Hopefully soon she would be able to rest, but somehow she doubted it.



in an abusive relationship– there is no making the best of it. If someone is abusing you- get out. There is help available. No one is meant to live without respect, no one is meant to live a life where they are mistreated in any form- get out- there are people, there are places that are there willing, ready and able to help.

how long..could she bear this??

. She watched him from the shadows as he drank. She had long ago quit wondering how one could consume that much alcohol and still be moving. It was obvious that his body had become so accustomed to the alcohol that he had grown immune to its effects. He was well on his way to finishing his second case of beer, he would soon be very mean. She knew, how well she knew what was coming. If only there was some way to hide away until he passed out. But that was not to be.








She watched as he tried again to stack cans only to knock them down, scattering them across the floor. Turning up the can he drained the one he held, slamming in onto the table in front of him. Before she could move back farther into the shadows of the next room he looked up. Spying her standing there his face twisted into an ugly grimace. Trying to stand he stumbled against the table. Sitting down hard, the chair rocked backward, then settled again on the floor. Reaching down into the cooler at his side he brought out his last beer. Popping the top he turned it up. She watched as his throat worked as he swallowed the remaining beer. Bringing the can away from his lips he opened his eyes and watched her, without warning he drew back and threw the can in her direction. Quick reflexes learned from other moments like this had her moving back out of the can's path just in time. From behind the doorway she heard him stumbling to his feet. The sound of the chair scraping against the floor and then the thud of him falling had her moving. Any time he fell he came up inraged and she was always his handy punching bag.







As she made her way toward the window, the only available escape she her the sound behind her. She had heard that sound before, the sound of a gun being cocked. Turning her head to look behind her the hurricane lamp on the table beside her exploded into a thousand shards. Turning away she ran toward the window. It mattered not that they were on the second floor, she had to get away. Before she had taken more than a couple of steps the second hurricane lamp exploded. She could taste the fear, he had pulled a gun on her before, but never actually shot at her. This was something entirely new and terrifying. Reaching the open window she dove through onto the roofthe attached carport. Grabbing a large branch of a nearby fig tree she climbed down to the ground. She was running the moment her feet hit the ground. Disappearing into the darkness of the darkness of the night.







The back yard of the apartment had several trees and shrubbery growing creating a perfect hiding place. Crawling into a space under a large bush she waited and watched. She knew the back door was unlocked as she was the one that always locked it last thing before going to bed. Once he passed out she could get back in. She knew he would never remember what he had done. If he remembered any part of it, he would apologize profusely, swear it would never happen again. He would pleade and cry and promise. And she would accept it, let it go and continue on. She wondered as she sat there on the cold ground, listening to the sound of the night around her how much of this she could bear. How long would she last before he managed to hurt her badly in some way. She wondered now, if he would end up killing her before it was over with. She felt the lone tear, it was all she would allow, as it slipped out and ran down her cheek. She was so far from home, there was no one to help her. How long, could she bear this?















All around us there are people in abusive relationships- if you are one- you do not need to stay. There are places-- there are people who can and will help you. No one is meant to be another's punching bag- whether physically, emotionally, verbally--. Do not let anyone tell you that no one will ever care for you. Do not let anyone tell you that it is your fault that they do what they do. It is not. If you are in danger, if you are in an abusive relationship-- get out, get help. You deserve better, you deserve happiness.



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