Saturday, April 27, 2013

Expressions of cancer

     One of the reasons (among many) that I Participate so strongly in Relay for Life is that look. The look of fear, the look of sadness. The look, of confusion, the look of loss.

 When I was diagnosed I had to task of telling my family. My husband was on a buss headed for a hoped for new job. I had no way of seeing his expression, but I could hear the concern in his voice. Has asked if he should just come back home. No, there was nothing going on at that moment, try for the job. My mother took it well. You could see her pain, her fear and concern but she hid them as best she could, as only a mother ready to fight for her child's health could.  When I faced one of my brothers, the expression on his face was a combination of all emotions. The expression of one facing mortality. That expression ...that look will forever haunt me. That look of pain on my brother's face hurt worse that the actual  diagnoses and following treatments. When I went in to work and word got around there was the confusion. How do you talk to someone with cancer? What do you say? How do you act? That look in their eyes where they are at such a loss. I watched as they stood quietly, I watched as they walked in a wide arch to avoid conversation.

During my battle I lost an aunt to cancer. Her family, her friends all who knew and loved her mourned her loss.

Since my personal battle I have watched friends fight. I have met so many other survivors and learned of their battles.

I know of a young man who fought valiantly and lost. Leaving a family to grieve and then to work hard toward what ever they could to keep their son alive in action and memory.

I know  a young man who is currently fighting cancer for the second time.

Loss to a disease is not just the loss of a person. We lose a treasured friend, we lose a loved family member, we lose possibilities. What could their life have brought to us? What grand adventures, what great creations and enterprises, what great love have we lost?

I participate in Relay because I learn so much. I learn the love of friends, the caring of others and ways to fight. I've learned the foods that are good for you, the activities that help the body and the mind. I have learned the things that can and does help the spirit, the mind and emotions.

I discuss Relay (as if you didn't know that), I do invite others to join in the battle and I do fund raise. But the most important thing, is trying to bring it to mind and keep it in mind that we are all touched by cancer. It is up to us to fight, to work toward a cure and a prevention for cancer. Won't you join us? Won't you help us?  It isn't all about money, we need people, we need creative talent, we need hearts determined, we need those who can provide a service or a piece of equipment, advertising, signs, music.. etc.. many of the small things that are important to the over all things. Its Relay, its all night and its every day.. because for now, cancer doesn't sleep.

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