Sunday, July 13, 2014

Dear attacked and or attacker

 I was sitting here contemplating something I read recently. I've carried it with me since, considering what I would say, should I ever come face to face with either the recipient of an attack or the attacker. Having no way of knowing if the most recent incident was real or not and not knowing any of the people involved I can only go on feelings. I can only think of the 'what would I do?' if as I said, I stood face to face with one who has gone through, or is going through, this.

 If I were to be able to talk with one who has been attacked, I would have to be compassionate and tell them- stay strong.
You have a family member with one or more handicaps and you are doing your best to deal with them yourself. Good for you! That is not an easy thing to do yet you have shown that love of family over convenience is what is important. My hope is that you are able to assist as needed, to do for as needed all in love. I hope that in the moments that for what ever reason you are unable that you  reach out to others, allow them to assist you. Let other family members, and or friends help so that it doesn't become too much. Caring for someone who cannot care for themselves either in part or not at all is a very daunting task. It can become too much for one to bear. Let others help shoulder the burden (even though it is a burden of love) so that not all the weight falls on you alone. Even a thirty minute break makes all the difference.  It will be better for you, and for the ones you love.

One incident I recall is where a mother was anonymously attacked over her autistic son. The attacker did not like the son being outside, making noise or a multitude of other acts this boy was supposedly making. Mother, your son has as much right to be outside in your yard as much as any other child has to be outside. Making noise? We all make noise in some form or other-ignore the ignorance.

 There are times when as much as we want, it is impossible to keep a loved one home with us, but for those who can, the road ahead of them is difficult. You have voluntarily taken this road and I do salute you, I do applaud your strength, carry that strength on, especially should someone who doesn't understand attacks. Allow your love to carry you through.

 You, yourself have health issues. You see yourself in the mirror every day. You see the person you have become, whether through neglect of self or through no fault of your own, you see the struggles and the pain and you have decided to do something about it. You have begun to take better care of yourself through every faction that is your life. You have changed your way of eating. Fast food is history, comfort foods are ninety-nine percent history (you are allowed a treat every now and again), fried foods are banned. Your diet now is healthy, one of fruits and vegetables, whole foods- not processed. You have begun to exercise. It isn't easy at first. You have all that excess weight slowing you down. You have other health issues slowing you down- but you are trying and you are determined- good for you. I salute you, I am proud of you and your determination. Carry that on, especially when someone who doesn't understand attacks. Do not allow their actions or words to deter you from accomplishing your goals. Look past the insensitivity of others as looking through a haze of smoke and keep moving forward. Do not allow anyone to stop what you have set out to accomplish.

I could continue on an on over the various things that people have been attacked over. Lifestyle choices, religious choices, the level that radios are played, a yard not immaculate, flying flags..etc..

Sadly I believe we have become a very selfish lot. It has to be our way or not at all. Believe what I believe, live as I live or move. How wrong is that?

Attacker? Did you think I would end this without speaking to you? Did you believe I would give you a pass and not speak of how your actions make me feel?

You make me feel ashamed. Your actions in my opinion are the actions of a coward. You hide behind the cloak of anonymity and secrecy. You spew venomous words that only create hurt, anger and disappointment. Maybe you feel that your idealistic world has been tarnished. Maybe you feel that you have a right to control the actions of those around you. I know people like that and yes, it bothers me greatly. There are things that we have a right to complain about, illegal activities, domestic violence, a yard where danger lurks as in abandoned cars on blocks, a freezer left outside with the door on, dead brush piled high creating a haven for snakes or a risk for fire. If it is a risk, yes, say something to the proper people, if you cannot have a reasonable, mature conversation with the ones creating the hazard. Do not attack people who are trying to do the best they can in a given situation. Applaud them, encourage them, offer to help them but don't attack them.

We do not know the struggles of others. We do not know the storms and battles that the people we see are facing. We do not need to add to those struggles by acting out in cruelty and insensitivity. We do not need to hide behind anonymous letters. We are adults, we should act like adults.

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