less

Times, there are times,always there

waiting in the shadows,watching

for a moment of weakness

a moment, when you feel,

less

waiting and watching, anticipating

that moment

when you are in need of something

yet no one knows

no one sees

as you weep in secret

hurt in silence

hiding the feelings of pain

locking it deep inside

but it is there, waiting

for that moment

the pain waits, the emptiness lurks

awaiting the opportunity

to swallow you alive

drag you down into an abyss of sorrow

darkness and cold surround you

as you shiver and cry

longing for something unspoken

as you lock it away, hide it away

suffer alone in the pain

during those moments those all encompassing times

when you feel

less

and you wonder

if anyone knows

anyone sees

any one cares

even as you know

in your heart, deep in your heart

you are not, ever, fully alone

the shame of your emotions

leaves you hiding away

wishing for wishes

wishing for the moment

when you once again

no longer, no more feel

less



















































Blessed, a collection of God given inspirational poetry by Rebecca Stepp Revels is available now @

http://stores.lulu.com/store.php?fAcctID=2137587

and now also at

Amazon, Books-a-Million and Barnes and Noble .com





The Legend of Dragon's Doom:a Young Warrior's vow, by RS Revels is available @

http://www.lulu.com/content/paperback-book/the-legend-of-dragons-doom-a-young-warriors-vow/7505820

and other online sites





also @ Bookin' It, your mobile bookstore @ www.bookin-it.com



Available now @ http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/blessed-in-his-promises/12670945:

Blessed in His Promises



All books available @ Poor Richard's Book Shoppe @ www.PRBookShoppe.com



http://main.acsevents.org/goto/rebeccasrevels

More on the adventures in car repair

James worked on his car late into the night on Wednesday trying to get it ready for the exchange of radiators. Thursday I had to wake him up to take me to work on the off chance that he didn't get his car repaired and would need a way to school. He wasn't very excited about being woke up before six thirty in the morning but he didn't complain knowing the circumstances. It was easy for me to find a way home being that one of my coworkers lives very close to me. It was only later that I was informed that I could have borrowed my dad's car and not had to ask anyone. As it was though, this insured James getting up early to work on his car.

I spoke to him around eleven in the morning and he told me that his car was repaired. When I spoke with his dad about an hour later I was informed that no the car wasn't repaired. I called James to get a garbled explanation that had something to do with oil. Hearing the frustration in his voice and knowing that he was fighting traffic trying to get to school I didn't try tog et a better explanation. I knew I could always find out when he got home that night.

My ride home was interesting in itself. At five foot-ten inches (I'm keeping that inch all y'all doctors and who ever that say I'm not that tall)and 143 pounds, I'm not an Amazon by any means. However, the truck that my coworker drives sure made me feel like one. To say its small inside is an understatement. Riding with one's knees tucked under their chin is an experience everyone should have at least once. At the edge of my driveway I unfolded myself out of his truck and waved him on. It would take me a while to get all my muscles stretched back out- and it is only a short ride home from work.

When James came in that night I found out what happened. He had his car repaired. He had the radiator swapped out, everything reattached. It was ready. All that it needed was about a half a quart of transmission fluid added to replace the little he had lost in the exchange. Sadly.. the person he asked to do this for him instead of transmission fluid poured in thirty weight motor oil. Here I'm not sure whether James caught it immediately or not, but I know that the car never left the building where he was working on it. This mistake meant more down time for the car, more money spent on parts needing replacing. Another day of driving my explorer to school. Have I mentioned that James drives a 1997 (I think) Dodge Intrepid which gets much better gas mileage than my 99, four door, Ford Explorer- the mid size one..around here I can get by usually on $20 a week in gas because I simply don't drive that much. This was killing me paying for the gas for James to drive to school.

Friday I borrowed Dad's something or 'nother SUV and drove to work. James got his car ready for the new transmission filter and fluids. He would get the filter from the parts place at school and the fluids on the way home. After work I immediately headed over to get my new glasses, something that was ready Thursday but I couldn't go after due to lack of transportation. Returning dad's car I came back tot he house and made myself at home. All the things I could be doing such as grocery shopping would have to wait-but I really didn't mind. It had been a tough week.

When James got home he told me he hadn't been able to get the transmission fluid and would have to head over to the great and powerful Wal Mart. He also needed more money. I wonder if he thinks there is a money tree growing in our back yard? Forking over a few more dollars I reminded him that he was going to get the pleasure of taking my explorer to get it inspected...that's due as well. It never ends does it?

But then, it also keeps us challenged, far from bored and out of trouble..

As it is, James's car is still sitting in the building, waiting to be finished, the explorer is waiting to be inspected-after I fork over more money for gas and I'm waiting for the particular adventure to be over...

















































Blessed, a collection of God given inspirational poetry by Rebecca Stepp Revels is available now @

http://stores.lulu.com/store.php?fAcctID=2137587

and now also at

Amazon, Books-a-Million and Barnes and Noble .com





The Legend of Dragon's Doom:a Young Warrior's vow, by RS Revels is available @

http://www.lulu.com/content/paperback-book/the-legend-of-dragons-doom-a-young-warriors-vow/7505820

and other online sites





also @ Bookin' It, your mobile bookstore @ www.bookin-it.com



Available now @ http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/blessed-in-his-promises/12670945:

Blessed in His Promises



All books available @ Poor Richard's Book Shoppe @ www.PRBookShoppe.com



http://main.acsevents.org/goto/rebeccasrevels

An Adventure in Car Trouble

I am partly to blame for the following..my part being that I did not see that they-being my family- did not go ahead and take care of a problem immediately. But then, hindsight is always 20-20.

Recently my son came to me and told me that there was a pin size hole in the radiator in his car. James is currently unemployed but attending college. His daily commute is rather long taking nearly an hour each way. He has found a route that avoids most of the interstate driving but not all. The hot summer driving is not good on any vehicle much less one that is already moving on borrowed time.

My husband the truck driver was home last week and when James told him about the radiator they went so far as to call local parts stores and found a radiator- but they didn't purchase one. That was when I should have said something, got them to go ahead and get the thing, but I didn't.

                                           
Wednesday James called me at work. He should have been at school what was he doing calling me? I called him back to find out that he was sitting on the side of the road--his car now broken down with a fully cracked radiator. He had already called road service and they were on their way. They would pick up the car and deliver it to the house. He also had a way to school already there waiting with them on the rollback. I no sooner got off the phone from talking with James when my husband called. After that conversation my afternoon was planned, go to auto parts store and then to pick up James.

When I got off of work at 4 I headed toward the house and the check book. I kept watching an ever darkening sky. I was barely home when that darkened sky opened up and the bottom fell out. It was raining so hard I couldn't see through it to the far side of my yard. I was going no where as long as this was going on. With one dog stretched out in his doghouse watching the rain and the other hiding in the bathroom in the house I waited it out. Over an hour later the rain finally stopped. After managing to get the dog back outside I grabbed my purse and headed for the car parts store. It actually didn't take long to have everything that I needed and with the help of one of the gentleman that worked there I had everything loaded in the car and I was back on my way. Looking at my watch I decided that I might as well go ahead and head off toward Mooresville.

            

My thoughts were that being that I don't drive as fast as most people on the interstate in a city area, I'd get an early start and still get there in time. This would have been fine-- but I quickly found out that if you are on the interstate near Charlotte, you are going to drive fast. You are going to keep up with traffic or you will be run down and left on the highway nothing more than a big greasy spot. One thing I felt was in my favor was that I drive a mid size SUV..so at least I could be seen..as the others drove past me at eighty miles per hour while I trolled along at a speed that I hoped would keep me from getting pushed off the highway.

                
I had told James to give me the easiest directions to the school. Without hesitation he gave me the route that had me driving all interstate. Well, there were fewer turns. With my written directions within reach on the seat beside me I was nervous but not terrified as I tried to find my way to the school. The knowledge that I have no sense of direction playing over and over in my head. I just hoped that I wouldn't end up in Atlanta or worse somewhere up north where no one would understand my southern drawl..I had managed to get on the interstate easier than I thought I would. This act alone usually has me clutching the steering wheel and begging for something blocking the road a few miles back that would stop traffic and allow me easy access. Once on the interstate I took my place in the center lane and watched people pass me by, as I only slightly clutched the steering wheel. Traffic got heavier the closer I got to Charlotte. I drove on, just trying to stay out of the way. Once I got so far I began watching for my exit. An exit that had me holding my breath as I made my way around and on the next leg of my journey. Once again taking my place in the center lane I watched the cars catch up behind me, split and pass me by. I wasn't worried about keeping up with them, I wanted them away from me. I wanted the road to myself that way my 'responsible' driving wouldn't get me run down. Even as I got closer to my destination I was worried about missing my exit and ending up somewhere far far away. Thankfully James's good directions and my determination to find the place we planned to meet enabled me to find the fast food place where he told me to wait. I thought that it would take me over an hour to get there. It took forty-five minutes. Now I had plenty of time to wait and hope that no one in the fast food place would call the police and report a loiterer.

It can be interesting watching people. As a whole we do some strange things. Like the people who were either going on or returning from a vacation and playing musical stuff in the car. From the car to the trunk, from the truck to the car. From the backseat to the front to the dash. People deciding to get shoes or another shirt and go in for a meal. Bringing that meal out to the car and then playing I want to sit there, no I'd rather sit there you sit here while they sit...I quit watching it was making me dizzy.

When time came for James to be out of class I called his cell but he didn't answer. Finally fifteen minutes after class ended I called and he answered. When I told him I was waiting and where, he told me that he would be there in a few minutes. When they did arrive I moved to the passenger side to allow James to drive. I had plans.

 

A part of the route took us by Lake Norman. It was late in the day and the sun was going down. I was hoping for some good sunset shots. I took a couple as we made our way back home. When we arrived at the lake I was tripping the shutter release just as quickly as I could. I could edit, crop and delete later. The guy that rides with James who was riding with us only commented to offer the information that 'up ahead' would be a good opportunity...and he was right. I did not get a photo of the nuclear plant, just blurry trees which I deleted. I did get some shots of the dam though.

James brought us back through the country, I hate to admit that if I've been through there it was so long ago that I don't recall it. If it wasn't that I was more than ready to get home, prepare the easiest thing possible for supper and call it a night, I would have asked James to take the long way home instead of the quickest.

When James pointed out the moon I kept watching for a chance to get a moon photo. Unfortunately with the moon being on the other side of the car and hidden by the clouds, that was one I didn't get. The minute we turned onto the Dirt Road I finally breathed a sigh of relief. Inside the house I preheated the oven for a pizza while James moved his car to his grandpa's building then drove my explorer down there to unload all of the parts for his car. While the pizza baked I fed the dogs and then uploaded the sunset photos into my computer. Happy with the results I decided to share a couple online. When the pizza came out of the oven and was cool enough I cut what I planned on taking to work for lunch just as James entered the house. He had become one greasy mess in that few minutes of time. I told him the pizza was his as I fed the cats and the bird. Telling him good night I headed off to prepare for bed. Little did I know...this adventure was far from over.

                                                                                                         to be continued











































Blessed, a collection of God given inspirational poetry by Rebecca Stepp Revels is available now @

http://stores.lulu.com/store.php?fAcctID=2137587

and now also at

Amazon, Books-a-Million and Barnes and Noble .com





The Legend of Dragon's Doom:a Young Warrior's vow, by RS Revels is available @

http://www.lulu.com/content/paperback-book/the-legend-of-dragons-doom-a-young-warriors-vow/7505820

and other online sites





also @ Bookin' It, your mobile bookstore @ www.bookin-it.com



Available now @ http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/blessed-in-his-promises/12670945:

Blessed in His Promises



All books available @ Poor Richard's Book Shoppe @ www.PRBookShoppe.com



http://main.acsevents.org/goto/rebeccasrevels

You know

What do I say

when I have no words

searching my heart

wanting to speak

to You my Lord

what do I say

when nothing comes

yet I know

You know

the feelings that I have

those moments

when I feel fear

tired, alone

You know

when I am angry

frustrated and lost

You know

what I want to say

even when I search my heart

and have no words

You know

















































Blessed, a collection of God given inspirational poetry by Rebecca Stepp Revels is available now @

http://stores.lulu.com/store.php?fAcctID=2137587

and now also at

Amazon, Books-a-Million and Barnes and Noble .com





The Legend of Dragon's Doom:a Young Warrior's vow, by RS Revels is available @

http://www.lulu.com/content/paperback-book/the-legend-of-dragons-doom-a-young-warriors-vow/7505820

and other online sites





also @ Bookin' It, your mobile bookstore @ www.bookin-it.com



Available now @ http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/blessed-in-his-promises/12670945:

Blessed in His Promises



All books available @ Poor Richard's Book Shoppe @ www.PRBookShoppe.com



http://main.acsevents.org/goto/rebeccasrevels

fill my heart Lord

                                                     photo by my son James Revels



Fill my heart Lord

I need You

Life around me is difficult

days come, that I feel alone

I need You

be the light that guides me

through this darkness

the clouds of the storm surround me

make it difficult to see

the path before me

fill my heart, be my strength

for I am weak, I am frail

without You

be my peace, my calm

when the storms rage

when the evil one uses those I love

against me

when those I meet, throw stones

give me Lord, fill me

with Your peace

that I may remain strong in You

walking away from the struggles

into Your sanctuary

fill me Lord

with Your wisdom, Your ways

that I may continue to follow

this path You have set before me

that I may walk in Your light

filled with Your peace

surrounded, wrapped in Your compassion

as I walk, in Your light

as You fill me

with Your love



















































Blessed, a collection of God given inspirational poetry by Rebecca Stepp Revels is available now @

http://stores.lulu.com/store.php?fAcctID=2137587

and now also at

Amazon, Books-a-Million and Barnes and Noble .com





The Legend of Dragon's Doom:a Young Warrior's vow, by RS Revels is available @

http://www.lulu.com/content/paperback-book/the-legend-of-dragons-doom-a-young-warriors-vow/7505820

and other online sites





also @ Bookin' It, your mobile bookstore @ www.bookin-it.com



Available now @ http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/blessed-in-his-promises/12670945:

Blessed in His Promises



All books available @ Poor Richard's Book Shoppe @ www.PRBookShoppe.com



http://main.acsevents.org/goto/rebeccasrevels

I Thought

I thought

you would stay

be here always

for me

I thought

days would be spent

laughing, sharing

walking along the pathways

listening to the sounds of the woods

listening to the sounds of our hearts

as they beat in a rhythm of love

I thought

you would stay this time

we would sit at the table

share a meal

recline before the fire

sit, together on the sofa

too wrapped up in each other

to know what was going on around us

I thought

this time you would stay

we would listen to the sounds of night

as day came to an end

night as a blanket covering this place

night, as a curtain, falling gently

night, would find us together

side by side in this big bed

my head on your shoulder

listening to you breathe

feeling your heartbeat, your breath on my cheek

as you turn for that goodnight kiss

a gentle brush

as sleep takes us into its arms

as I rest in yours

I thought

this time you would stay

but I was wrong

for she called, her siren's song drawing you

away from me

I watch but you are gone

following once again

those white lines

taking you away from me

to where ever the highway ends

I thought you would stay

but as I lower my head to my pillow

yours cold and empty

I know that you had to go

had to answer, but I know

that in time, your mistress the road

will release you once again

for a while, just a while

and I will be here

waiting..



















































Blessed, a collection of God given inspirational poetry by Rebecca Stepp Revels is available now @

http://stores.lulu.com/store.php?fAcctID=2137587

and now also at

Amazon, Books-a-Million and Barnes and Noble .com





The Legend of Dragon's Doom:a Young Warrior's vow, by RS Revels is available @

http://www.lulu.com/content/paperback-book/the-legend-of-dragons-doom-a-young-warriors-vow/7505820

and other online sites





also @ Bookin' It, your mobile bookstore @ www.bookin-it.com



Available now @ http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/blessed-in-his-promises/12670945:

Blessed in His Promises



All books available @ Poor Richard's Book Shoppe @ www.PRBookShoppe.com



http://main.acsevents.org/goto/rebeccasrevels

wishing, for one more time

Put out to pasture

resting here, alone

feeling the grass growing up around me

the quiet unnerving

small animals move about

making their home in me

and I cry

I miss the feel of the road beneath my tires

I miss the song they sing

the music they make

as they play the highway

white lines flowing past quickly

guard rails my boundary

landscapes and cityscapes

my movies of life

I miss the battles of fighting traffic

struggling against time

deadlines and timelines

log books and rule books

I miss the truck stops

and the variations of life there

the good and the bad

rest stops and pull offs

weigh stations and toll booths

all played a part

all I miss

the sound of the cb blaring out loud

cussing and fussing

jokes that you wouldn't share

all there

out on the highway I miss

storms pounding; thunder and rain

washing away road grime

snow and ice falling fast

slipping, moving to find safety

parked while the worst passes

keeping my thousands of pounds off the highway

away from the traffic

away from those, that do not comprehend the danger

windshield wipers moving

keeping time

as the big engine idles

rumbling, keeping the cab warm

the driver safe

smokestacks clapping to the sounds

music only one with the road understands

yet in this field

I sit

waiting the passing of time

rusting here

missing there

wishing

for one more time