The Stains of Impurity

There is a darkness that covers this land

there is a sadness that covers the hearts

of those who understand

standing on the hillside looking out

seeing the corruption of what was

seeing the corruption that is

the stains of impurity

changes in natural order

a new normal

darkness hiding the light

once hiding the sin, now brought to the light

stains of impurity

spreading

standing on the hillside, looking out

with a tear that begins the flood

from the heart that understands

seeking, asking

 how to heal the land

the stains of impurity

growing

seek humility of the heart

forgive us Lord, for we have grown vain

You have blessed us greatly

yet we have fallen away

thinking we have done something special

we have created this, founded this

when it was a gift given in love

yet we came, and we destroyed

the stains of impurity

spreading

from bended knee

we must seek You, realizing our part

in what is, and what will come

from bended knee, we must call out to You

understanding our failings

forgive us Lord, Your children

for we have turned away form You

sought and followed the idols we have created

the stains of impurity

growing

with broken hearts, broken from self

tossing away the demons of pride

turning away from indulgences of the world

seeking Your face, seeking forgiveness for what we have done

things allowed by our silence

with a humbled heart, a grateful heart

we reach out to You

knowing Your great love

heal this we have damaged

heal this we have soiled

the stains of impurity

washed and cleansed

by the blood

The Blood of the Lamb.

See My Heart

See my heart Lord, beating within

may its every beat

be for You

guide my steps, that my walk is pure

traveling this road

for You

the very thoughts within my mind

no matter the situation I am found

 may my thoughts

be of You

may Your glory be my goal

through all that I am

through all that I may be

may Your glory shine

see my heart

may it be pure

beating within this body

yet seen by those I pass

gentle and tender, to those suffering

humble and meek, for You

tender my words to be pure

calm and patient, soft yet strong

in You, for Your glory Lord

see my heart Lord, beating within

may each beat, be for You

bring glory to You

Lord and Savior

King of Kings

fill this heart Lord, fill this life

with Your Spirit

guide my way, that it be Yours

speak to me always

teach me, that I may understand

use me, strengthen me,

that I may walk strong in Your way

that I may speak boldly of You

that others may see, may hear

Your words

see my heart

each beat, for You

Pure Love

There within me resides a love
greater than any other
not a love that I can give
even as I try
but a love, that is unmatched
and given freely
yet the cost was much
a cost, paid again and again
as I stumble in my walk
there are many who do not understand
seeing it as this, or that but not for what it is
love, pure love
there are many who have heard the falsehoods
and took them as truth
there are many who have taken the truth
and twisted its meaning
taking love's beauty
and marring it with a stain of ugly intent
creating a dislike among those yet lost
in misunderstanding
within me, is a love
filling this heart, changing this life
giving to me the way, to better understanding
as I listen, when I hear.
Bought with a price
paid by the life of the Son
who came in love
washed clean by spilled blood
sin's price paid
within me resides a love
even as I stumble
grace, sweet unearned grace surrounds me
teaching, and guiding my life
the Spirit that fills me
all gifts, given at a cost I could not pay
all a part, of that pure love

Thank you Dad.. for everything..

    How does one say thank you?

   To someone who has been such an important part of who I am? A lot of memories have faded, making room for the more recent happenings. Still, there are those that have not been relegated to the shadows. The memories, like an old time family movie that plays in my heart and mind. The kind that brings a smile and a tear. Not of sadness, but of a type joy that can only be found in family.

  My very earliest memory is  walking on the foundation of this house as it was built. I remember the fishing trips to that small cow pond in the back of that field. It seemed as if we would walk forever to get there. Cattails and high weeds lined the banks in places, others were muddy from where the cows went into the pond. You taught us how to dig our own worms and how to bait a hook. You taught us how to be quiet while fishing and to watch that bobber as it floated on  the water. I'm not sure how well we did at that young age, but you tried. I remember the time coming face to face with the cows and you laughing and telling me they wouldn't hurt me, not to be afraid. You were right as you have been so many times through my life. I remember years later you and mom bought us our own small tackle boxes and took us to a small lake down at the far side of a cemetery not far from town. Some one forgot some thing and mom got in the car to go after it. Not remembering that the tackle boxes were on the back of the car. One was found, the other only a few items were but the most part was gone. I was broken hearted, but I learned, to take care of your things and remember where you put them. All of the lessons learned from those fishing trips have served me well through out life.

 I remember a time when you showed us how to take a blade of grass and 'fish' a worm out of its hole in the ground in front of Grandma and Grandpa's house. That and finding the doodle bugs in their inverted diamond shaped home built in the sand. Small moments.

You taught us responsibility when you were breeding Pointers. You were working out of town and someone had to take care of them. While the most of the work fell on mom, we were given small parts to take care of. I remember that horse of a dog named Mike. Sweet Bo-Peep and the others. There always seemed to be a dog of some sort here. We learned how to care for a living creature and how that being loved us in return.

 You gifted us with a wild, weird, and often misunderstood sense of humor. Each of us have a slightly different way of using it but its still the same. We get odd looks, we get the intended results, we get crazy when we're all together. How blessed we are that we have this gift that come from you.

 You played a large part in my imagination. I am the daughter of a fisherman, what better person to develop the art of story telling?
 
  I remember all of those times  I felt inconvenienced when you would be sitting in the living room watching a race on television, listening to a ball game on one radio and some other sporting event on another and you'd ask me to make you a sandwich. Of course what ever it was that I was doing at the time was more important to me at the time. Or at least I thought so. Now, I'm glad for the memories and cherish them all.

You took an empty field that was overgrown and almost useless (save the imaginary adventures) and turned it into a small softball field. That line from the movie, "If you build it, they will come" could have started with that field. We had neighbors coming out to play often. We chased balls down the hill, we dug through poison oak, we laughed, we visited, we had a grand time.

Vacations were always an adventure. Alligators in the water in Florida. Severe storms taking out the power in Georgia- as well as roller coasters bringing terror to the youngest among us. That million mile high suspension bridge that most could cross in minutes that took me a life time (thanks mom for staying patient with me).

 Living those times in Florida and finding adventures in the things there. Giant trees, ant hills, possibly rabid possum. Sand so hot you couldn't walk barefoot, but so much sand shoes quickly weighed a ton.  Watching from under a mobile- out of the hot sun- as a rocket was fired off from the space center and watching that silver vehicle head for the sky.

We've had those growing up moments of teen angst, minor rebellions. Wrecked cars, broken windows and bull bats attacking. We've cried, we've laughed, and we've fought. But through it all, through every single moment those remembered and those faded by time and distance- we've loved. And from now and through eternity.. we will always love.

Thank you Pop, I love you.

surviving the storm and black out the old fashioned way

I got to put a new camera lens to work yesterday--I knew when I got off from work that bad weather was headed our way so I hurried home and got online to try and check my husband's pay. He needs to know as soon as possible what it shows so that he can call work and let them know about anything incorrect or missing. Internet was on and off as the storm intensified but I managed to get just what my husband needed before it gave up.  By then the rain was coming down so hard you could not see through it. I was so glad to be home and that my son, James was home.
 As the rain pounded down I went out onto the front porch to watch it fall and to keep an eye on the drain to make sure that nothing blocked it preventing the water from flowing freely. I went out, picked up the shovel and pushed a few sticks out of the way.  Nano-seconds later James called out to me that the power had gone out. There was however a slight bit of sunshine in this.  James purchased an inverter probably a little over a year ago and he had already brought the battery inside so he calmly hooked everything up and he had tv to watch. I sat out on the porch and watched it rain. When it finally quit I grabbed the camera and headed up the dirt road. I met my sister-in-law coming in who was telling me that a tree was down at the top of the dirt road and that there was a tree down with power lines over an suv down the road. I walked on up the Dirt  Road and took a few shots of the tree that had been shredded and then headed back toward the house. I met a neighbor who I had grown up with, who was coming up the road to see what she could find out. We talked for a few moments and then I watched as James pulled my suv around and down across the yard. Confused as to what he was doing I said my good-byes and headed for the house. Turns out that my suv had become his back up power. I reminded him that there was only so much gas in that thing so be careful.
  After my conversation with my neighbor  I was curious to the amount of damage done down the dirt road. I picked up my cameras and headed on down the drive. I found there were some branches down but nothing major. I got to where the big power lines cross the dirt road and I could see blue lights up on the main road. Yeah, you guessed it- boredom, no power, new lens and over powering curiosity got me. I took a few photos from the dirt road and then began walking. I ended up walking the just over half mile through near waist high--and very wet- weeds to the main road, stopping ever so often to snap off a shot. I finally ended up on the main road that was barricaded by patrol cars and spoke with the county police. Nice people.. I asked about walking past where the clean up was going on but was told that there was a live power line down across the road. You could see where the tree had taken the lines down. Someone at some point-- I missed this--had thought they could drive their suv across and over the downed tree. They not only got stuck they became trapped in their vehicle when the power line ended up draped across their vehicle. I made a Duke's of Hazard reference which the young officer either didn't get or didn't hear, either way he didn't comment of give me that confused expression that the young often give their elders when they don't catch something. I ended up walking back the way I had came, back through the high weeds and swampy areas. This time was easier as I knew pretty much where I could walk.  I was however very thoroughly soaked. When I made it back to the dirt road I stopped and told several people that we would be in the dark for a while if not all night. I walked up the dirt road but took a left to go back up to the main road to hike down from the other direction and see what I could see. I met some people that I knew and then made some new friends as well. I ended up walking with a Relay for Life friend down to a safe distance from the downed lines and watching for a few moments as they worked. I also spoke with her dad, there was a big tree that had partially fallen, that if it goes the rest of the way down he is not getting out of his driveway. As we started back we saw a truck that had passed us stop and speak with the county officer that was keeping vehicles from driving around the barricades. when we reached the officer he told us that the power guy had told him that it would be at least two and a half hours as the tree clearing people had just arrived. Pam offered to bring him something to eat but he said that the nearby town's city police were supposed to be bringing them out something.
 I went home soaked through, somewhat tired from all that hiking and frustrated that I couldn't upload my photos to see what I got.. I'll see soon though. (photos actually posted now)
 Our power came back on some time around midnight. Don't try to set your clock when you're awakened in the middle of the night after a power outage.. I set it wrong..thankfully I have a battery back up as well that was right ;) Of course our pup Bella is also a very good alarm clock as she starts wanting out right at four in the morning every morning. At work everyone had storm stories. Some people had power and then  some didn't. A few were getting messages that it may be as long as two days before their power is back on.

I know, that when you look at storms and tornadoes that others have gone through, ours was not much. While we have trees down and power out yet in places, it was nothing compared to OK or the mid west regions. While the winds and rain was terrible, none of my trees fell, so I thank you Lord for that. Tornadoes wiped out entire cities. Our storms inconvenienced us. But we got out, we visited, we met old friends and made new. More importantly- we survived, and we were once again reminded that we are strong and can still survive the old fashioned way.

Bella's Day Outside

                                                  Bella playing in the Dandelions the other day

Today Bella spent a large part of her day outside. I'm glad that I didn't know about it in advance as I'd have worried all day. As it was, when I got home from work, she met me at the gate happy as could be. I'm sure being outside was a lot more fun than being cooped up in the house. I'm sure the cats liked it better as well.

 Our front yard is fenced, so there was no fear of her running off. Thankfully now she has grown too big to fit through that small gap in the gate. The yard is still beg enough and she is still small enough that there is plenty to investigate without needing to seek bigger, better or more on the outside. The yard is also plenty of shade trees as well as the front porch with its cool cement floor to rest on and stay somewhat cool in this summer heat. Sad thing is she did kill a flower. I'm not upset with her....as long as she stays away from my tomato plants. There is a large bucket of fresh water near Buddy's dog house (in the shade) and a couple of other containers of water that are left for them.

I kept peeking out the door through-out the afternoon, just to be sure. She was fine out there, her and Buddy. She alternated between playing either by herself or with him, or stretched out under the chair on the porch. At the rate she's growing she won't be able to do that for long.

I went out late in the afternoon to try out a new camera lens and of course that led to my being totally attacked. She has this thing about feet, ankles and blue jeans. So far she's put holes in two pair of my jeans, but I guess that just puts me more in style. I'm trying to break her from that because even as I know its just puppy stuff, I don't want that particular habit to carry over. I did get a few photos taken in spite of Bella.

I didn't go into the garden as I know she would have managed to follow me and she is a destructive creature. I know it isn't malicious, but its still deadly to plants and I don't want my garden harvested and ripped before it has a chance to produce.

Bella will be coming in soon. Her room (the bathroom) will be ready for her. I know that she will be good and tired and ready for a good night's sleep. So that at 4 in the morning she can start once again demanding to be let out, whether I'm up yet or not.

I love this pup- life with her is one grand adventure after another.

The Adventure of Training Bella: Sit and other random commands

  

 There are two things that Bella is going to have to learn if she is going hiking with me. That is 'sit' and 'stay'. Teaching her these would be a lot easier if I wasn't the proud pet parent of an Attention Deficit dog.  Of course she is still a puppy, one must make allowances for that and I do, usually.

  I mentioned earlier that I had purchased those dog training treats, and she does love those things so that helps. Thanks to her short attention span our training sessions are short, but usually successful. Getting her to 'sit' didn't take long at all. Though my memory may be faulty, she seemed to pick up on it quicker than any dog we have had before her. I've seen other people train their dogs to sit by giving the command as they push down on the dog's hind quarters. All I had to do with Bella was give the command, over......and over......and over....mainly because I didn't have her attention to start with. Once she realized I was holding a treat, she became very focused on what was going on.

I concentrated on the one command for several days. I wanted her to understand 'sit' before we added anything to her training. Well, other than adjusting to that leash that she appears to literally despise with a passion. I've never been deep sea fishing where I actually fished, but I've seen it on television and walking her on a leash here in the beginning looks like they do when they have caught one of those really big marlins..but she'll adjust, I have all faith in her.

Our first attempt at 'shake' was humorous as she kept falling over. She would try, she really would, only her balance was not there yet and every time she ended up on her side. She wasn't hurt, I'd imagine she might have suffered a mild case of doggy embarrassment, but it wasn't bad enough to stop her from trying.

Once I knew that she had the command to 'sit' understood and would sit (for a treat) on command I decided it was finally time to step it up a notch and add the command to 'stay'. Which of course to begin with was a complete failure. I jumped the gun a bit by thinking she would stay when I backed away. No, if I backed up she took that as a signal to move forward. This game had her so excited that the session ended prematurely because her paying attention at this point was not going to happen. Tomorrow was another day.

When I began our session the next day we began with the usual, 'sit' and 'shake' which she is actually getting better at. Then I went to the next which was 'sit' and 'stay'. But, instead of moving back, I stayed where I was and kept softly repeating the word 'stay' while I held my empty hand in front of her. I kept it short though and it worked. The next time I held my hand there for a bit longer. Increasing the time every time. I didn't do it for long though, I know her by now and no matter how much she likes those treats, even that can only keep her focused for so long. That puppy energy has to come out eventually.

Which means the cats are her usual target. She isn't being mean, (though the cats may beg to differ) she wants to play. The cats however are all adults and long past the kitten- playing stage. The thing is, no matter how often they hiss, or slap at her, even at times slapping her, she doesn't back down or back away. Stubborn little girl. I know one of our next lessons.

 I've taken her on a couple hikes through the woods. Each one has been different. The first time she listened very well. If I stopped, she stopped. When I began walking again, she did. The second walk, she wasn't as nervous and therefore did not listen as well. If I stopped, she wanted to keep going. When we walked around the pond, she wanted in the pond. She also wants to pull on that leash. I have to break her from that now when she's a puppy so that I don't end up with a full grown eighty-something pound baby dragging me down the dirt road. The last hike we went on she did well. She stopped better, but she really does enjoy playing in the high grass that we pass through. That and every, single smell along the way has her stopping to investigate. Once we get past those she stays fairly close by my side, right up until she realizes that we are on the way back home. That is when the worst of the pulling begins. I know it sounds as if I'm choking her, but she's the one pulling the leash tight, the only way to prevent that would be to run, and I'm not running. Instead I'm trying to teach her to listen to the word 'stop'. But being on the way home, that never enters her head. We'll work on that.

She's going to adjust to spending more time outside. While I do plan on her being an inside outside dog, outside is better during the day. There is always plenty going on to keep her entertained, what with the squirrel and birds playing about, not to mention the neighbors. Our front yard is fenced, there are plenty of shade trees and we keep a big bucket of fresh water in the shade. She would be able to get on the front porch should it begin to rain. There is also Buddy, who is our outside dog. He's not real sure what's up at the moment and is not the friendliest I've ever seen him, but I know that he will adjust to her and accept her presence. All of this beats being confined inside all day alone.

The one thing that I will be very glad of, is when she stops all that puppy biting due to teething. I've given her all manner of puppy toys to chew on, but her favorite chew toys so far seems to be me and my son James. One thing about it, all of my jeans are going to end up looking very fashionably ripped thanks to those sharp daggers called puppy teeth.

Raising a puppy, always an adventure.