And the Web has Exploded--Robin Williams gone..

And the Web has exploded

   I'm sure you have heard by now of the death of Robin Williams. The internet has nearly imploded with the news spreading quicker than a western wildfire. He was loved by many, tolerated by many and also disliked by many. It all depended on your own personal taste and preferences. While I personally was not a fan of the language that he used, (but in truth, it was language no different than so many other entertainers use) I could and will not argue his mind blowing talent.

  I remember him as Mork on Happy Days and then co-starring with other talents in Mork and Mindy. His rapid fire wit and imagination making for an incredible viewing experience. I have always been a fan of improvisation, my first taste of that coming from Jonathan Winters and then following the same path, Robin Williams. Mork and Mindy may not have been highly thought of at the time, I don't know and honestly don't care as it was fun, it was silly, it was goofy, it was unpredictable and it was fun. It was Robin Williams being Robin Williams.

  While I'm not a big movie enthusiast I have seen many of his works. His range of style was impressive, his talent, without question. Like him or not, the man could act. He was the rebel that he presented to us in Good Morning Vietnam. He was the genie he did voice over for in Aladdin gifting us with his tremendous ability and creativity. He was and will forever be Peter Pan. He will be our happy thoughts even in the sadness in our heart for his loss.

  It doesn't matter the cause of death, not really. The loss is great for us all. Depression is a serious problem no matter who you are. But if you are a creative person, especially a highly talented and imaginative person who feels everything a thousand times more than one who is not as creative it is a tremendous demon to battle. It doesn't matter how many times you think you have it under some form of control it manages to slip away and attack from a different angle. The darkness that tends to shroud the demons do not help. The truth that there are so many who can not possibly comprehend does not help. One who is depressed feel as if they are doing battle all alone and with each step forward are sliding three steps backward. Sliding backward into an abyss from which there is no rescue.

   Robin Williams was a great talent. Yes, he will live on in the movies he made,there is no doubt the fire he lit in others who watched and wished to emulate he will bring us other talented actors who will in their own ways entertain us. There will never be another such as Robin Williams. May he rest in the arms of peace, his demons finally stilled. May his family find comfort as they deal with the sadness of their loss.

 Good-bye Robin, we're leaving the window open always..na nu.. na nu...

Considering You Lord

In the midst of the storms thundering around me

the rains of strife and fear pouring down,

You are my shelter, You are my refuge

Drawing me close to You, covering me with Your peace

What took so long, to realize what it is like

when I consider what You have done for me

Why did I hesitate to draw near to You

In my youth, I heard Your voice, speaking within my heart

calling to me, inviting me to come to You

Offering what no one else could, what nothing else could

serenity in You, a peace that can be found nowhere else

forgiveness for the sins of this earthly heart

Cleansing of a stained life by Your mercy and grace

What took so long, to realize, what it is like

when I consider what You have done for me

How could I take so long, to draw near to You?

In the time of troubles, I heard You

speaking softly to me, letting me know You are near

always so near to me, even when I wandered

You still remained, watching over me, watching over my life

waiting for me to see, how far away I had grown

the wrong paths that I had taken, leading me away from You

all the while You waited, knowing in time, I would realize

when I took time to consider what it is like

to walk with You, close to You through every storm

to walk with You along every pathway in this life

because of what it is, that You have done for me

Heaven's glory you left, to come to this place

God becoming man, to take on what no one else could

Walking this earth with a message of hope and words of love

Teaching all who would listen Your words of compassion

When I read Your Word, how could I not consider who You are

An apostle of our confession, sent with the authority to reveal God

To bring God to us, to me, so we may see

When I read Your Word, how could I not consider who You are

High Priest for our confession, standing between us and God

Your blood spilled, given for our transgressions

So that we, so that I, may draw near to God, and know God the Father

Whether I stand in the high places or struggle in the valley I can boast in You

Your peace surrounds me, Your love enfolds me

Your most merciful grace heals and forgives me of all I have done

How my Lord, my Savior

could I not consider You?

You called me Disturbed

                          photo taken at Cades Cove in Pigeon Forge, Tennessee

 Recently I found myself in an online conversation that was civil, but just barely. I had shared something that I saw on a social media site knowing that it had potential to bring out those who are rabid in their beliefs and don't mind showing it. I was therefore not surprised when the derisive comments appeared. I will be the first to admit that I have at times, shared or posted things on social media sites  that I know will get a reaction. Knowing that those reactions will not always be good. I do this in the hopes of starting rational, mature conversations on those topics. Unfortunately, on many social media sites, mature and rational are rare and endangered. The comments that were made to this posting were really not all that bad and nothing unexpected. The problem was in one of words used. I am not one to use words that are known as curse words, while I know that to many they are merely words no worse than any other, I simply choose not to use them and would prefer others to not use them on my personal page. When I asked that people who commented on anything I post please not use such language that was when the problem began.

 I realize that people have things that they are very passionate about. If you bring that topic up the best you can do is stand back out of the way and let them get it out of their system. I love to see comments made on my postings. I may not agree with you, but you have as much right to your beliefs as I have mine. Maybe its my age showing, but I prefer that those words not be used, I think that there are way too many other options and alternatives available. Yes, certain words may show your feeling, but so may one of the options. Using those options may also get your points more attention as people seek out to understand what you are saying and what those new words mean. As it is, my requesting that those words not be used had the one disagreeing with me calling me disturbed. I was even called the White Rabbit of Alice in Wonderland fame.

  This conversation happened early one morning. I could have allowed it to ruin my day but I didn't. In fact I did the complete opposite and had way too much fun with it. Commenting that if I were the White Rabbit- to which I disagree I'm more the March Hair (spooooooooooon) type, then Johnny Depp (Mad Hatter) is my neighbor. I laughed and had coworkers laughing rather than holding onto anger and hurt feelings.

  Then, I began thinking more on the word. I realized that they were right in one sense. While I'm sure they were not meaning to be complimentary by calling me disturbed, they have no idea how right they are. I am very disturbed, and wish that more people were as well.

 I am disturbed at the number of people in this country who are homeless and hungry while this country sends billions of dollars to other countries. Some countries who don't even like us.

 I am disturbed at how easy it is for illegals to enter this country then demand and get assistance while those who are citizens often can't get needed help. Those who worked for so long only to lose that job then find themselves at risk of losing everything they have because for what ever reasons they can't find another job or one that pays enough to cover their needs.

  I am disturbed at how easy it is for illegals to get medical help while our veterans suffer and die due to lack of care. (I'm not against immigration, I simply think that it ought to be done legally as it has been done by so many for generations. Where immigrants came to this country, became citizens adopting this country and this country's ways instead of demanding we change for them.)

  I am disturbed at the lack of caring for our children. How so many are so self absorbed that they forget they are parents and supposed to be caring for their children in a responsible manner. Instead so many are more concerned about getting their drugs or alcohol of choice. Too many children are neglected and abused. Too many children are going hungry, too many are doing without medical care, clothing, love. Too many children are dying because of abuse or neglect.

  I am disturbed that our country's infrastructure is crumbling from age while we still send billions to those other countries. That so many of our cities are nearly abandoned and rotting away around us.

  I am disturbed that it is so easy for illegals to enter our country while other countries guard their borders with deadly force.

  I am disturbed by all the things I see reported of what goes on in other countries. How innocent civilians are killed. How children are abducted and forced into military service. How children are abducted-or sold by family- into slavery. It disturbs me to see so many hurting, so many sick, so many afraid, so many forced to live under certain rules and regulations under threat of death. Not a quick death either.

  I am disturbed at the way the earth has been polluted and ravaged by corporations seeking more and more money without caring for the damage they are doing. It bothers me to see how the planet is reacting through storms, tornadoes, floods, earthquakes and landslides. Forest fires are destroying more than forests as homes and buildings burn.

  I am disturbed by the greed and corruption that is rampant in governments. Not just that in this country but in almost if not all. While those that went in with good intentions are in the minority and are forced to battle against great odds, there are more that have greater strength and power and will get their way. Their way usually meaning better for them and well- do the best you can for the average citizen.

  I am disturbed by the abuse of the elderly, whether it is by family or attendants in assisted living facilities who are trusted to take care of them.

 I'm disturbed at the abuse of animals. Whether it is intention, whether it is out of ignorance, whether it is accidental, the results are often not good for the animal.

 I am disturbed by the many different groups of people who demand tolerance and acceptance but yet refuse to give to others what they demand for themselves.

  My heart bleeds and weeps for this list and for the many things that I haven't mentioned here. It seems that so many have lost that thing called compassion. It appears that self-serving has become the normal way of life. Without compassion there is no mercy, no kindness, no caring for others and their needs. You called me disturbed, you have no idea how right you are. I can only imagine what a different world this would be if others became as disturbed as I am.

How Does Your Garden Grow?

 I asked some friends a question this morning, How does your garden grow?

 Yesterday I was out watering my flowers and considered the above question. I imagine the first thing that comes to mind is a physical garden whether it is a flower garden or a vegetable garden. Both of which take a lot of care. One must prepare the area, clearing it of weeds and stones. Once the ground is ready, you head for your garden center of choice and pick out your plants. Then you decide where you are planting what. Some plants do better in full sun, others only need partial sun. Some plants need a great deal of water while others do well with limited amounts.   All plants will need feeding, whether you use plant food specific for that particular plant or a fertilizer that will feed everything you plant. It takes a great deal of work- getting a garden to grow. Everything has its own particular requirements for it to grow into a healthy, producing plant. Once it is a fully grown plant that is producing, you must take care of it even then. Flowers may need to be kept dead-headed, or trimmed. Vegetables need to be harvested. For the entire growing season you are kept busy- getting your garden to grow. Especially if you want a bountiful harvest of edibles, or an array of flowers that would win awards and should adorn a magazine cover. Butterfly and Bee fight over the abundant flowers you have grown.

But, what of other gardens? What do you do to help those gardens grow? What other gardens you might ask? What about family? You haven't considered family as a garden? Consider this, as a child we were cared for when our parents gave us what we needed in the way of clothing and food with a few extras tossed in along the way. As we grew we learned how to get along with our siblings and various relatives. If we showered them with respect and love, we (usually) got respect and love in return. When we became adults we began to consider the type of person we wanted to spend the rest of our life with. When we met various people we invested time and energy into the relationship trying to determine if this person was 'the one'. Over the course of time, many hours would be invested, various activities- some that you probably didn't even like- but all to work toward the end results of the garden of your own family. When you marry, you will tend to the union through your emotions. Feeding it hope, faith, love, compassion while watering it with forgiveness and mercy. You will prune away the bad branches such as jealousy, envy and anger to name a few. When the time is right your union will produce your own children and you will care for them well. Feeding and watering them with the same emotions you did with your spouse. Training them as one would a vine that you wanted to grow in a certain direction you will train your children to be good, productive adults. Then you will watch them as they move on to their own family garden.

What about your garden of friends? Now of course to cultivate friends is not the same as vegetables, but, many similar things are required.  While you aren't going to be clearing ground physically, you will prepare your heart for new friends when you meet them. While in a physical garden there are times when a volunteer plant appears. You didn't plant it, for some reason it was just there. Maybe the wind blew in the seed or an animal dropped it. However it happened, there it is. The same happens with people. While we may think that we only want certain types for friends, there are times when others will find their way to us. Do we treat them as we do the other people that we deliberately sought out? Or do we rip them from our lives as one does an unwanted weed in the midst of an immaculate lawn? The friends that we have, we must take care of them, make sure they know that we appreciate them, be there for them when they have a need. We need to treat them well, as we would like to be treated. Shower them with laughter, wrap them in peace, take a how to weed out the bad things and feed them with love. Sadly though, there are times when a friendship falls apart. It is not good for either one of you, creating only pain and heartache. When the bad outweighs the good it is time to remove them from the garden.

You can say the same for careers. You prepare when you educate yourself for your dream job. You feed the dream when you practice. You water it when you continually seek out knowledge of and methods for doing this dream. When you land your dream career you feed it by working hard. You water it by continually learning from those who have gone before you. You water it when you seek out better, more efficient methods. You weed it when you remove the things that are detrimental to your career. You see it produce in the way of bonuses, awards, acknowledgements of what you have accomplished.

What of your faith? You prepare your heart, you acknowledge your needs and you seek out the answers to your questions. You feed it when you spend time with those who know more. Those who are like minded with you.  You feed it when you read the words that are given on it. You water it, when you pray, when you openly acknowledge and share without malice or judgement. When you seek guidance in this walk, you are caring for your garden of faith. You learn to discern truth from fallacy when listening to others speak. You realize that there is a difference in religion and in a relationship. Your garden produces when others understand what you are saying, when they seek out for themselves their own garden of faith.

There are many gardens in our lives. It is up to us to cultivate them, to care for them, to bring them to a state of productiveness. So I ask again........how does your garden grow?

Dear attacked and or attacker

 I was sitting here contemplating something I read recently. I've carried it with me since, considering what I would say, should I ever come face to face with either the recipient of an attack or the attacker. Having no way of knowing if the most recent incident was real or not and not knowing any of the people involved I can only go on feelings. I can only think of the 'what would I do?' if as I said, I stood face to face with one who has gone through, or is going through, this.

 If I were to be able to talk with one who has been attacked, I would have to be compassionate and tell them- stay strong.
You have a family member with one or more handicaps and you are doing your best to deal with them yourself. Good for you! That is not an easy thing to do yet you have shown that love of family over convenience is what is important. My hope is that you are able to assist as needed, to do for as needed all in love. I hope that in the moments that for what ever reason you are unable that you  reach out to others, allow them to assist you. Let other family members, and or friends help so that it doesn't become too much. Caring for someone who cannot care for themselves either in part or not at all is a very daunting task. It can become too much for one to bear. Let others help shoulder the burden (even though it is a burden of love) so that not all the weight falls on you alone. Even a thirty minute break makes all the difference.  It will be better for you, and for the ones you love.

One incident I recall is where a mother was anonymously attacked over her autistic son. The attacker did not like the son being outside, making noise or a multitude of other acts this boy was supposedly making. Mother, your son has as much right to be outside in your yard as much as any other child has to be outside. Making noise? We all make noise in some form or other-ignore the ignorance.

 There are times when as much as we want, it is impossible to keep a loved one home with us, but for those who can, the road ahead of them is difficult. You have voluntarily taken this road and I do salute you, I do applaud your strength, carry that strength on, especially should someone who doesn't understand attacks. Allow your love to carry you through.

 You, yourself have health issues. You see yourself in the mirror every day. You see the person you have become, whether through neglect of self or through no fault of your own, you see the struggles and the pain and you have decided to do something about it. You have begun to take better care of yourself through every faction that is your life. You have changed your way of eating. Fast food is history, comfort foods are ninety-nine percent history (you are allowed a treat every now and again), fried foods are banned. Your diet now is healthy, one of fruits and vegetables, whole foods- not processed. You have begun to exercise. It isn't easy at first. You have all that excess weight slowing you down. You have other health issues slowing you down- but you are trying and you are determined- good for you. I salute you, I am proud of you and your determination. Carry that on, especially when someone who doesn't understand attacks. Do not allow their actions or words to deter you from accomplishing your goals. Look past the insensitivity of others as looking through a haze of smoke and keep moving forward. Do not allow anyone to stop what you have set out to accomplish.

I could continue on an on over the various things that people have been attacked over. Lifestyle choices, religious choices, the level that radios are played, a yard not immaculate, flying flags..etc..

Sadly I believe we have become a very selfish lot. It has to be our way or not at all. Believe what I believe, live as I live or move. How wrong is that?

Attacker? Did you think I would end this without speaking to you? Did you believe I would give you a pass and not speak of how your actions make me feel?

You make me feel ashamed. Your actions in my opinion are the actions of a coward. You hide behind the cloak of anonymity and secrecy. You spew venomous words that only create hurt, anger and disappointment. Maybe you feel that your idealistic world has been tarnished. Maybe you feel that you have a right to control the actions of those around you. I know people like that and yes, it bothers me greatly. There are things that we have a right to complain about, illegal activities, domestic violence, a yard where danger lurks as in abandoned cars on blocks, a freezer left outside with the door on, dead brush piled high creating a haven for snakes or a risk for fire. If it is a risk, yes, say something to the proper people, if you cannot have a reasonable, mature conversation with the ones creating the hazard. Do not attack people who are trying to do the best they can in a given situation. Applaud them, encourage them, offer to help them but don't attack them.

We do not know the struggles of others. We do not know the storms and battles that the people we see are facing. We do not need to add to those struggles by acting out in cruelty and insensitivity. We do not need to hide behind anonymous letters. We are adults, we should act like adults.

What is Missing and Why?

              I kept thinking that something was missing.....something was different...something was wrong.  Maybe it was me, I haven't sent out nearly as many emails this year as I have in the past. I was allowing the fear of causing people to turn away out of annoyance of too many emails, to stop me. No one had ever complained. No one had ever asked me to remove them from my list. Not one person had ever said anything, but I still worried. Now I wonder, was that fear part of the reason for what was missing?

           I was also feeling tired, not burned out, but close. So maybe, just maybe I wasn't trying as hard as I have in the past. Maybe, just maybe, my brain was simply too tired to come up with something comprehensive and complete that would make sense and inspire the reader. It wasn't that my heart isn't in it, because it is. As a Survivor, as long as the fight isn't finished, my heart is there...my determination, my desire for a cure will always drive me. But I didn't want to post dribble that would make the fight (at least on my part) into a joke.

            Where I work, we aren't allowed to do any fundraising. I understand the reasons and reasoning. No one can support every single cause out there. It is simply impossible. It is also now impossible to say yes to one and no to another because then the "another" cries discrimination and threatens lawsuits and before you know it there are lawyers and reporters and protestors camped out on the front lawn. So it is easier and safer to say no to all of them. I understand that....but it sure put a hurt on my fundraising as most of the people I know, are those I work with. Every nickel and quarter that they tossed in that cup added up and made a difference. Did the frustration of having that avenue blocked hurt my enthusiasm that badly? Was I giving up?

           A lot of the people who were on my team last year no longer work with me. In fact, so far this year all of the people who were on my team are missing in action. I could go ahead and sign up immediate family my son will help I know. My husband will probably be out of town driving somewhere..but at least that would be someone other than just me. No, I'm not feeling sorry for myself.. I have better more important things to do I simply do not have time for self pity.

       I need to figure out why.....the missing is missing.

    I can blame it on the economy.......because it really stinks. People are still out of work. People do not have the disposable income they once did. The cost of everything keeps going up but paychecks are not following suit.

    People may be having to help relatives or friends more than in the past.

    Health issues and insurance may be part of the problem.

    After reports have gone out on how "charities" are such a big business, people may fear that all the money is going into the pockets of the top dogs of the company and not to the various departments that are always mentioned.

  There could be as many reasons for the missing as there are stars in the sky, grains of sand on the beach, leaves on the Oak trees in my yard. I could guess all night and still not get the right answer.  In the past I have raised money online as well as in person. That hasn't happened but once this year. (Thank you Dennis, I still have a gift for you). I don't know what I can say that would convince anyone to donate. The reasons are the same....research, cause, prevention, treatments, medications all have come about thanks to donations. HOPE house, places where the cancer fighter and family can stay if they must travel for treatment. Look Good Feel Better a program for the cancer fighter to help them with wigs, scarves, hats and makeup tricks..Rider programs that help get the fighter to doctor visits and to get their medications. The online program that offers information and someone to talk with when you have questions. All of these take money..so we work, we find fundraising opportunities and we ask everyone we know.

So, yes...I'm asking...would you consider making a donation to help finish the fight against cancer? Would you help as we work to help survivors celebrate more birthdays? We have all been touched in some way by cancer...lets work to put an end to the battle, put an end to the fear, the worry, the loss of friends and family because of cancer. Together, we can do just that.

http://main.acsevents.org/goto/RebeccaSRevels

We will be having our second annual 5K at Common Grounds in Stanley on May 9th.. message me for more details..

We are still taking orders for Luminaria Bags.. see me, email me, mail a check made out to the ACS and send it to my PO Box 371 Stanley, NC 28164. The bags are $10 each and can be either in honor of or in memory of..
Any and all donations...see me, drop a check in the mail or donate online at the above link.
sign up for a Relay near you..or if you're local join my team..

Thank you for everything you do in the fight against cancer.

Rainy Days, weekends and those fond memories

  Its Friday, I've completed another work week. I have the weekend before me, and I did have lots of plans for that time. Only now of course it is raining. That means no yard work, not unless it decides to stop raining (and it isn't supposed to do that), or unless I don't mind getting wet. Even if it does stop raining the leaves that I haven't raked all fall and winter will not be mulched by the mower as I had hoped. If I do anything, it will be in the flower garden area and with a rake not the mower. I really do want to get started on that if only Ma Nature would cooperate a bit here.

  But, since its raining, and its dark (at this writing it is 8:13pm) I won't be doing any work outside, but I can share some rain stories from here on the Dirt Road..aka the Mud Run during times like this.

   I love summer showers, not so much thunderstorms but those sudden rain storms that appear, dropping rain here but not there, fast and furious or slow and easy. I've driven down the roadways to run in and out of rain or watched it fall on one side of the road and not the other. I've even seen the white lines of the road be the stopping point as the rain fall stops right on the line going no farther.

   As a young person growing up here I remember knowing when the rain was coming. The sky could be this beautiful, crystal clear blue, not a cloud anywhere but the trees gave warning of what was coming. Looking at the trees the area would be darker, the colors of the leaves more intense as they turned over. The air would grow quieter as all the woodland critters took refuge from what was coming. Soon, you could hear it approaching, the rain falling on the leaves on the trees and the dead leaves under them. You had two choices, take shelter, or enjoy the cooling off the rain would bring from the heat of the summer sun.

     Our Grandfather was a collector. He would bring home some of the most interesting, useable stuff. His yard was never cluttered or trashed, there was a place for everything, but he always allowed us to make use of the things he brought home. Like all of those sheets of metal. I have no idea what they were intended to be used for, where they may have came from or what his plans were for them. For us, they made great clubhouses. With careful precision we could stand them up and begin our shelter of the day. Building them as one would a house of cards only bigger and a bit more heavy. Each sheet had a line of holes directly down the center which meant careful layering to prevent leaks. It was a treat to be inside one of the clubhouses when a shower would come up. Listening to the rain as it struck the 'roof', hearing the drumming music that it made was mesmerizing. There was something special about having that privacy, a bit of secrecy even though all we were doing was sitting on the sandy dirt inside, out of the sun.

    Grandfather also built a large open shed behind his workshop. One end was open so he could simply drive his tractor in and out without hassle. At that time there wasn't any worries about anyone bothering his things. We all knew each other on this road then as there were only five families here. Times have changed. I stood many times at that entrance and watched the rain falling, watering the garden, cooling the temperature down a bit.

       One thing I have always loved was to take hikes in the woods on our property. There are several small creeks that run through it, more when there is plenty of rain ( such as now). Behind our house, down at the bottom of the hill there is a small gulch. During the dry times, it is dry. When we've had a rain storm, that gulch becomes its own creek. The land slopes downward, so the rain water starts at the main road and follows the gulch down through the woods until it reaches the pond and then once the pond is full to overflowing the water moves on through the woods, filling the creeks as it goes. If there is enough water I can hear it falling from my back yard.

There have been times when I've been walking only to get caught in a shower. Dad built a covered shelter down at the pond. The tin roof is wonderful to sit under and watch  as the rain falls and strikes the surface of the pond sending ripples outward. Raindrops hitting the surface of water has a totally different sound than anything else. Away from the pond if the rain isn't falling too hard I can take shelter under the trees, listening to the rain as it strikes the leaves. At times, I can feel the rain as it rolls down from leaf to leaf until it falls to where I am standing. I've walked along parts of the Dirt Road where the tree top canopy reaches out and entangles creating a covering that protects those under it from the rain. Once again walking and listening to nature's music. Of course those hard showers that can penetrate the canopy creates the puddles that I loved to wade through then and still do to this day. The feeling of red clay mud between your toes gets in your heart and stays there.

         As a youth, and now as an adult, I love to open the windows and listen to the summer showers falling. There is no better stress relief. Forget your pills, forget those self medications such as alcohol, forget that hot bubble bath- well no, lets not forget that, it works well also--but, the sound of falling rain is magical. Stress and frustration melts away leaving all the good memories in its place. I may not get to work in my yard tomorrow, but I will get to sit on the front porch with a cup of coffee and watch the rain falling. All the while remembering ...  with a smile.