Saturday, February 18, 2012

When My Storm Blew Pink 4- my cancer story

It was really kind of amusing thinking about it later. All of the pre-surgery stuff, all of the concern, I was getting nervous as I waited, stretched out on that bed. Then finally, or is that suddenly- I was being pushed down a corridor and into a surgical room. The first thing and the last thing I saw was the enormous lighting and then the lights went out.

When I awoke it didn't seem to be a slow process, one minute I was out of it, the next I was speaking with a nurse who was asking me how I felt. "Ready to go home" brought a smile and an offer of a pack of crackers and drink. I wasn't there long before I was allowed to dress and be helped to the waiting car. My husband watched my every move and asked if I wanted anything. "Coffee." I hadn't been allowed to drink or eat anything prior to the surgery and I wanted my coffee. Which he dutifully obliged me with.

As we were finally pulling into the driveway I was sick, very gut wrenchingly sick. Getting into the house I crawled gratefully into bed. This, I decided was not any fun at all.

As the days passed I waited for the results that I already knew the results of. I didn't say a lot, I would mention it in passing on one of the social media sites I frequented but I tried to not say much. I didn't want to upset my family any more than I could help.

When the day came that I would get the results of the surgical biopsy I sat waiting in that little room, knowing what was coming but still ill prepared. I watched as the surgeon entered followed by an assistant. The assistant waited near the door as the surgeon sat down on that examining table beside me. Carefully and calmly she told me that my results were positive, I had breast cancer. Having already come to terms with the fact of cancer I looked at her and calmly told her, "You know what it is, you know where it is, take care of it." The assistant left the room quietly.

I'll be honest in that what the surgeon told me next, I don't recall. I know it was a lot of explaining as to what type cancer and how bad she thought it might be. What the options were, and what treatments might be needed. One step at a time, one step at a time.

There would need to be some more pre-surgery stuff done, Some more blood tests, x-rays and such. And of course a thousand more questions. It seemed like the surgery date was a life time away, and yet it arrived so quickly.

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