Warrior waiting reinforcements..

I am a breast cancer survivor. If you have read much of what I have written you know that..and I am currently posting my story in my Relay for Life blogs one part at a time. The reason for that is I know that we are a busy society. We all have so much going on at a time that we simply do not have time to spend sitting and reading - which is a sad statement coming from a writer, but I am also a realist. So I share in parts. That is not the main reason I am writing this. Not only am I a breast cancer survivor I am a strong supporter for the American Cancer Society and Relay for Life.




Don't run away..there is a point to this.



As I said, I am a survivor. My cancer was diagnosed in Feb. of 2008. I had a lumpectomy, went through radiation and have been cancer free since. I know of others who have had cancer. They under went various forms of treatment and currently like me are cancer free. Unfortunately I have also lost friends and family to cancer. I know of people who have lost loved ones to this terrible disease. A disease that doesn't care, it attacks and does its worst.



When I was diagnosed, the most difficult thing for me to do was tell my family. My husband was out of town- he was on a bus on his way to go through orientation for a truck driving job. A job that he didn't get, but that was at the moment a good thing. Still, I had to call and tell him over the phone, I had cancer. My mother you could tell was prepared, she knew as I did long before the official diagnoses. One of my brothers was an entirely different story. I will never, ever forget the look on his face. At first he couldn't even look at me. He looked everywhere else but at me. I hadn't told him, mom did. Its terrible watching someone having to face the mortality of life. It was breaking my heart watching my brother not know what to say, how to act. There were no jokes or smart-aleck comments coming from him. Before I walked away I had him smiling and looking at me again. I had to, I could not leave him in that state.



I've learned a lot since my battle. I pretty much went through my battle alone. Oh my church family asked how I was, they sent cards making sure I knew they were praying for me. When they would ask I'd tell them I was fine. I was exhausted, I was somewhat alone, there were times I wanted to just find a corner and hide. Those things I never spoke out loud. It showed to the people who cared to look. Those that would actually stop and ask..and I'd smile and tell them I was doing okay. They didn't really believe it, but they didn't push. I didn't know, what I know now.



Nearing the end of my cancer treatments I got involved with Relay for Life. I have met some very well informed people, I have met people with a passion for this greater than mine. I have sat and listened to how people who have been touched by cancer fight with what ever means they have.



The American Cancer Society does not focus on one single cancer. It works to fund research to fight them all. While some cancers get more attention, there are those who are dying from the ones you rarely hear of. More research is needed. People come up with all manner of ideas. They may have an idea for a new medicine, a new type of treatment, a new form of surgery. It is all written up and turned in to be considered. There is the stack that is put into the have funding file and then there is the stack that occupies the "pay if" file. Pay if.. the money is there. Tomoxifin came from the pay if file.



The ACS has resources for those that call their 800 number( 1.800.ACS.2345 ) needing information, for themselves or for someone they know. There is always someone there manning the phones. There is always someone manning the web site ( www.cancer.org ) ready to help. One of the items available is an information kit. The individual battling cancer can get this folder to keep all of their information in one place. Reports from doctors, test results, medicines..all in one place, readily available when needed. There is always someone to answer questions, or simply to talk.



The ACS has what is called a Look Good Feel Good program. For those under going chemo and who loose their hair, there are wigs, scarves and hats available. There is someone who can help the survivor with makeup tips.



They have a program that will get the survivor back and forth to treatments, to make sure they are able to get their medicine.



There are programs that will help pay for medicines, that will help make sure that the patient/warrior/ survivor doesn't go without food.



It isn't all research, even as research plays a large part. Its about the people. All of the people that I have worked with are individuals who care greatly. They see the need, they have been touched in some way and have become determined to make a difference. I have seen people come in with fire in their eyes and compassion in their heart. You can feel the energy coming from them and see the results.



Cancer is not silent. You can hear the wails of those who have lost loved ones. You can hear the cries of those suffering- even if the fighter says not a word.. you can see and hear their pain in your heart. With every individual who walks away a survivor there is a celebration. They will see and enjoy another birthday. Their family and friends will get to spend more time with them.



That is why I do what I do. I want a world without cancer. I do research on my own. I post blogs sharing some of the things I have found. I share my story and I share my thoughts and feelings. But more importantly I support Relay for Life. I participate, I spend the night walking with other survivors. I walk with those who are care givers. I walk with those who walk because for what ever reason their loved one can't. I ask, I beg, I make the awareness ribbons in hopes of raising money to support this group. I offer up my photography in hopes of raising money, portions of the sales from my books goes to Relay. All because I want other people to be able to celebrate. I want to help fund the research to end this. I want it that no one else will have to see the pain in the eyes of those they love because they just found out they have cancer.



I fully support the ACS and Relay for Life-won't you?
http://main.acsevents.org/goto/Rebeccannc

Does an apple (peel) a day keep the cancer away?

Research, I love doing research. Especially if it gives me advice on how I can help keep myself healthy and work toward preventing cancer from returning.




Those who know me will readily agree that before my battle with cancer I was not among the most healthy of eaters. I did (and do) love chocolate. I could put away a bag of Hershey's kisses or Reese's Peanut Butter Cups in one sitting. A balanced diet was a Honey Bun in one hand and a cup of coffee in the other, or better yet an RC Cola. That all changed once I was diagnosed with breast cancer and began the radiation treatments. Now, my diet is much more healthy, consisting of a variety of fruits and vegetables, less red meat and almost no soda. To keep my diet varied I do a lot of research to find the 'good things' to eat and recipes to make them interesting.



Today's topic of choice is..the apple, and the benefits it brings to our health.



The first thing that must be noted is that the research on the benefits of all "good for you" foods is ongoing and that it has not been proven that consuming these foods will actually prevent or treat cancer but the results are proving promising.



What is it about apples that make them a good choice in staying healthy? Cornell researchers in 2007 identified a dozen compounds in the apple peel that either inhibit or kill cancer cells A review done of the peels of the Red Delicious apples showed 29 compounds with antioxidant and cancer fighting properties."..... several compounds have potent anti-proliferative activities against human liver, colon and breast cancer cells and may be partially responsible for the anti-cancer activities of whole apples," says Rui hai Liu, Cornell associate professor of food science.* "Some compounds were more potent and acted differently against the various cancer cell lines, but they all show very potent anti-cancer activities and should be studied further," said Liu.



Phytochemicals, known as phenolics or flavonoids, are found in apples and other fruits and vegetables. Phytochemicals and phytonutrients (compounds found in plants) found within the apple act as antioxidents against LDL, the damaging portion of cholesterol. Rich in pectins, soluble fibers, has been demonstrated in being effective in lowering cholesterol levels.







Eating fruits and vegetables have been found to reduce the risk of coronary disease. Reduce the risk of a variety of cancers. Those who consume apples have been found to have a much better lung function. Eating apples may reduce the incidence of several cancers-breast, colorectal, esophageal, oral, ovarian, and prostate.



Apples are relatively gentle on blood sugar levels.



Apple extracts have been shown to promote the growth of several probiotics in the colon while also inhibiting the growth of two pathogenic bacteria.



This is only a partial list of the benefits of apples and apple juice. It has been proven that eating a healthy diet consisting of a variety of fruits and vegetables will help one to remain healthier. Their beneficial properties going a long way to prevent cancer and as stated a host of other diseases. All packed in one easy to carry with you package. Apples have been identified as the greatest source of antioxidants and cellular antioxidant activity in the American diet. With so many different types of apples available, there should be one for every taste and preference..



So that old saying may just be true.. and apple ( with peel) a day keeps the doctor away.



One thing I might mention. Unless you are eating organic, or fruit where you know how it was grown wash the fruit thoroughly before eating to remove any pesticides that may have been used.



All of the above is just bits and pieces of what I found online. You can read the full reports here..





sources:

ScienceDaily: An Apple Peel a Day Might Keep Cancer At Bay

sciencedaily.comreleases/2007/06/070601181005.htm



Mailonline:

dailymail.co.uk/health/article-36536/Apples-fight-heart-disease-cancer-strokes.html?pri..



Mailonline" Apple peel-the secret weapon against cancer

dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1284820/apple-peel-secret-weapon-cancer.html?



From the Core:

hsionline.com/2011/10/06/apples-fight-pancreatic-cancer



Times of India:

articles.timesofindia.com/2010-04-16/health/28145368_1_colorectal-cancer-colon-



EmasHealth:

emaxhealth.com/1020/14/34617/apple-a-day-could-keep-cancer-away.html



naturalnews:

naturalnews.com/z025685_cancer_apple_breast.html



WebMD:

webmd.com/cancer/news/20041018/apple-day-for-cancer-prevention?



Healthyfellow:

healthyfellow.com/ Apples and Cancer protection



Chronicalonline:

news.cornel.edu/stories/Feb09/apples.breastcancer.sl.html

When my Storm blew pink prt 2 of my cancer story

It wasn't long before I had an appointment scheduled with a surgeon. The very word surgeon had me nervous. Not because of what I might find out-but because I have a spring loaded foot. Yes, I am notorious about opening mouth and inserting foot. Even without meeting this doctor I could see myself saying something absolutely ridiculous. I am also very adept at getting lost, and being someone who doesn't go very far alone I could just see me doing exactly that when I went to find the office.




When the time came for my appointment I left work and drove over. I only missed the road I was supposed to turn onto once. I found the office and went inside to sign in. There posted on the window was a notice that the doctor was running late. I could reschedule or I could wait. I decided to wait...and wait..and wait. If I am forced to be still for too long, I get sleepy. By the time my name was finally called I was fighting sleep like mad. I'm sure the people around me must have wondered, but I did not allow myself to look around. I stood and followed the person who had called me. We went through the regular exam stuff and then she left me to wait on the doctor.



I was not expecting the person who entered that examining room. The Good Lord was looking out for me because He sent me to this wonderfully "I am who I am, accept it" doctor. She was dressed in a manner that was definitely different and definitely fit her personality. I knew immediately that I liked this person. We talked for a few minutes over what the radiologist thought they saw on the images. She wanted to do her own ultrasound. Telling me to undress from the waist up she went for her portable ultrasound machine. By the time she returned I was ready.



As she performed the test I watched the screen. I still had no idea what I was looking at but she did. And she kept returning to the same area that the technician had at the Imaging Center. When she began to show me what she was looking at and explaining mouth popped into action. When she said that the area had no real form I told her it looked like a cat--so did that in fact make what she was doing a cat scan? um, no.



After a discussion it was decided that she would do a needle biopsy. Calling for her assistant she said something about a doing the needle biopsy because of something that was seen on the cat scan..the look on that lady's face was priceless. But the needle biopsy? That actually hurt. I mean that really hurt. Some places just were not designed for needles. I returned to work in a bit of pain that took quite a few over the counter pain pills to ease. I had a week before I would know the results. All I could do now was wait-- hope-- and pray.

My story- when my storm blew pink

                                       me-right after I completed my radiation treatments in 2008


I had decided that I would not share my cancer story again this year. My thoughts were that I had told it every year from the very beginning. Every one had heard or read it. But then I realized that I am on different 'social' sites now and I have new friends that have not heard my story. I do not share this as a means to get sympathy, I don't want it, or actually need it. My cancer is gone- has been gone, and I'm doing fine. My story is one not unlike so many others- except for the fact that it is my story. My life, my battle.. only..I knew from the very beginning, that in this battle I was not alone. And I knew, that no matter what happened, how it turned out, I'd be fine.






I went for a physical right after my fiftieth birthday. As important as they are, I honestly dislike getting a physical. They are uncomfortable, embarrassing and your imagination can only take you so far away from what is going on. But I digress. On this particular visit my doctor decided that it was time I had a mammogram. In the past he had said that the density of the breast tissues were such that he didn't think I needed one yet, but now it was time. I shrugged and agreed for them to set up the appointment. I was not in the least concerned as there was no history of breast cancer in my family. No history no worries right? Wrong.



I went for my first mammogram not really knowing what to expect other than the fact I was going to be very uncomfortably mashed. The people there were very nice, very helpful. After all was said and done I was told that being this was my first mammogram and that they had nothing to compare to that I might be called back for more images and if that happened not to worry. I smiled, said okay and returned to the dressing room. Leaving I waved and headed for home. When the letter came saying they needed to take more images I wasn't worried. I had been told this might happen. So here it was the day after Christmas, everyone else was headed for the stores and mom and I were sitting in somewhat uncomfortable chairs waiting my turn to go back for more mangling. Afterwards we would hit the stores.



When my name was called I left my coat and purse with mom and followed the person who had called me. Stepping into the designated dressing room I got ready. When I was called again I followed the next person to 'the Mangler'. I was all nonchalant about it until I realized she was just doing one side. Over and over again. I was asked a couple of times to wait while she took the images to the doctor. I was then told that I could get dressed but that they wanted to do an ultrasound. I was beginning to get just a tad bit nervous.



Once I was dressed I was lead back to the waiting area. The lady leading the way was chatting away about silly things. She was actually babbling and that did not help my nerves that were beginning to get on edge. I told mom what they wanted and she got the deer in the headlights look. We didn't have long to wait before my name was called again. I guess that going the day when everyone else was out shopping helped in that aspect. Lead off in a different direction I followed the leader into a room where I was told to get undressed from the waist up, put on a lovely paper vest and wait. It was really, really cold in that room. Thankfully I didn't have to wait too terribly long before the technician came in and began the tests. I had no clue what I was looking at but they obviously did. She kept going back to the same area over and over again. Something, that I was sure I didn't want, was there. Of course they weren't going to tell me anything, that was going to be left to my doctor.



After the tests were completed and I was dressed I was told I would be hearing something soon. Mom and I left, but I wasn't too much in the mood for shopping now and neither was she. We did try, but we gave up quickly and went home. All I could do now was wait.
 
to be continued......

In Your Hands

In Your hands, You hold me

I am Yours, sweet Lord, I am Yours

You have drawn me from the darkness

into Your loving light

You wash me with Your peace

You cleanse me with Your love

once burdened with the pain

laden with the guilt, of the things I have done

now forgiven, fully forgiven

my soul, filled with Your Spirit, sings

joyous songs of praise

shout Hallelujah for You are Lord

I fear no more, I worry no more

for I know, safe in Your loving I remain

secure in Your hands, always

nothing can draw me away, nothing can steal me

from Your hold

You are the Good shepherd

and I unashamed, Your sheep

I hear Your voice and I follow You

knowing You will keep me safe

You are the Way, the only Way

to eternity with the Father

I trust in You, I follow You

for I know, You are Lord

You open Your arms to all who believe

You wash in loving, bless Your children with peace

safe always in You

for nothing can pull us away from You

You hold tight to those that are Yours

washed in mercy, cleansed in peace

held in grace

You are Lord, I will fear no more

biking down memory lane

Its funny sometimes what triggers memories. When the memories are good ones, especially the nostalgic ones of those by gone days of childhood its even better.




Growing up my mother took my grandmother 'to town' on Saturdays. It was their day. Now I'm taking my mother on shopping trips and these are our times. We went out for a while today, both of us needing a few things, but mostly needing a few minutes away. We ended up at one of the places we always seem to find ourselves. After strolling around picking up a couple of things we found ourselves in the area that was gradually transferring back to the garden center. As we wandered up and down the aisles we glanced at the clearance items and talked about the new colors for cushions for outdoor furniture. It was as I turned away from the cushions that I first noticed it. Propped up by its kickstand- the bicycle from my childhood. A soft green frame with cream colored fenders it had the handlebars that came up and out. Handlebars with no brake or gear levers. It has one speedsetter- the power of the rider. It was a sight to behold. Mom simply stood and watched as I approached the bike and couldn't help myself. I had to get on that bike. When I did, so many memories came flooding back.



Graduating from a tricycle to a bicycle with training wheels. Nervous as the bigger bike wobbled as I adjusted to the new size and different style of riding. Then, moving up once again to a two-wheeler as the training wheels were removed. Once I learned balance nothing could stop me. There is a special sense of freedom when you are young and riding a bike. It is your first real taste of mobility. To be able to ride at those amazing speeds. to lift your hands from the handlebars and feel daring and brave. To turn that bike into what ever form of transportation the mind and imagination allowed. To feel the wind blowing against your face and through your hair was something incredibly special. After the rains to ride with legs extended (or not) through the puddles, creating a spray of water in every direction and mud splatters all the way up your legs. We rode without helmets or protective padding of any sort. Many times we rode without shoes- the days of youth, innocence and fun. The Dirt Road was our race track, our route to the untamed west, it was a parade route and the road simply from here to there. We would even from time to time ride our bikes on Dare Devil Hill, but being that they still had brakes we usually saved them for the road.



We did as any other kid with a bike did. We decorated them with streamers and playing cards and what ever other decoration fit our mood at the moment. We pulled wagons, we paraded, we traveled the Dirt Road and all of the paths that we could maneuver on. We put hundreds of miles on those bikes. All of those years ago.



Sitting there on that bike I longed to recapture that, or at least a part of it. I wanted to be able to ride, simply ride without the frustration of trying to figure out which gear worked best at going up this slight hill and which worked best at stopping and which brake lever worked which brake. I want simplicity. I wanted, the good ole days, or at least the semblance of those days that this bike could bring.



I didn't buy the bike. Sadly like many others with budgets and concerns of the responsibilities that come with being an adult in this day and time, had me getting off the bike and walking away. For a few minutes it was fun looking back and dreaming. Who knows, if its meant to be, I will have that bike and the chance to relive just a few of those memories from way back when...

once upon a time

Where have you gone?

You know, that I loved you

love you still

have we had our once upon a time

that fairy tale life and love

where laughter was abundant

the touches were tender

when you would look into my eyes

and I could see your heart

where have you gone

your body is still here

you walk and move; you breathe

but you are a shell of who you were

once upon a time

life and struggles have changed you

changed us, from the people we were

once

laughter now is rare, you never smile

where is the tenderness, where is the love

in your eyes is frustration at things that are

in your heart is anger, because of what

has come to be, that you cannot change

these fires could make us stronger

forge us into the steel of a strong love

these storms could make us better

understanding how we must endure the rains

to see the rainbow

where have you gone

will you ever return

will we ever again have what we did

once upon a time?