Monday, August 12, 2013

Recognition, Appreciation and Thank you


   Survivors are hope we are winning..YOU are the link to the tools and weapons to fight the battle.



Saturday night, August 10th was the East Gaston / Belmont Relay for Life wrap-up party. We celebrated a successful year coming just a little shy of our full goal. As was stated at the party, much was accomplished and much was learned. Next season should be an even better one as we are ready to go forward with what we have learned and put it into practice.
 I wanted to thank everyone who helped me with donations to not only reach but go beyond all of the goals that I hoped for. Thanks to you and your generosity HEART for a Cure was a top ten earning team. Thanks to you and your generosity I  again made Grand Relay- which means I raised at least a thousand dollars.
 This was my first year at having my own team, I walked in with somewhat blind eyes as to what was needed, I was naive and nervous yet determined to at least raise something. You my friends, went above and beyond what I had hoped for and I can not thank you enough. As a Survivor and one who knows many who have fought or are currently fighting cancer, I wanted you to know that your generosity and kindness is not unappreciated.
Thank you again, the money that you so kindly gave will go to the fight. Not only for research, but for the many programs that help those who are fighting. Look Good/ Feel Good programs, Rider programs, educational... the list goes on.
 As of now I don't know when the kick off is for next season, but I am hoping that you will once again consider helping out in the fight, with your talents, with your time, with your dollars. (I can always use the help and HEART For a Cure could always use members-near and near at heart)  We can not beat this without your help. For now-I only wish to say once again and many times from now.. thank you..thank you.. thank you
 Thank you my friends, you are the best.

Current plans are for HEART for a Cure to have a site at the Stanley NC Country Festival.. hope to see you there, I'll have an extra chair set up so we can sit and visit...

(I don't know how long the links will be good.. I understand that they will be shutting down the site to prepare for next season..I am not asking for donations with this message..just added the links in case you wanted to see the totals before they are removed)

Rebecca

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

How Often?



                                      Mornings are always special-life is precious-our days are gifts


Good morning all--its early on a Tuesday morning. As I sit here enjoying that first cup of coffee waiting for time to head in to work I'm  listening to the rain falling steadily outside and listening to my son James as he laments over car windows left open.  You would think that after all of the rain we have had this so called summer he would have known better. In the very least making sure the windows were up before he called it a night last night.A simple, should have done it action, that would have taken only a few moments of his time. Yet he didn't, and now he will pay the cost.

How often is there something that should have been done, but was left undone?

How often is it, when you could have made a call, to a family member, to a friend? When you could have returned a missed call just to make sure that everything was okay? Afraid that call would interrupt a schedule or take too much of your precious time? So you put it off. Did an elderly family member or friend need you to run an errand for them? Did someone who is unable due to a temporary setback or permanent handicap need you to do something but you couldn't- wouldn't for what ever reason?  Could you have given a ride, helped in a crisis or a need? Have you driven by someone broken down without a second thought? Watched a homeless person shuffle aimless or sit on a sidewalk with that helpless look? Did you think about volunteering for a project, time at a shelter or soup kitchen? Have you walked past someone struggling to get an item just out of reach, or open a door with arms full or with a handicap preventing? How often?

  Do you have regrets over things left undone? Do you feel guilty over not helping the one you saw struggling? That door is closed, we can't go back and change what was. We can however go forward with a different attitude, with a different heart.

   There are variations of a story where we cannot change the world by a single action, but we can change the world for the ones we are able to help. (Oh and grandstanding about your help...doesn't help) Simple actions, kind words, compassion..actions of heart and mercy to one can create a ripple effect that can change a world. Rome wasn't built in a day, a fence is build one post at a time, a home one brick at a time. Life and lives are changed, one action at a time. If you are able to make one person feel better, give them reason to smile, then most often, they will seek out ways to share that feeling. And change has begun.
 Be blessed--

Sunday, August 4, 2013

Blessings of the Heart 101--parents





 Growing up, our Grandparents lived next door to us. Now, my parents live next door. As I had the blessing of growing up with the love and teaching of Grandparents, so is my son. Its amazing in a way how life flips things around.





   Growing up, our Grandparents lived next door to us. Now, my parents live next door. AS I had the blessing of growing up with the love and teaching of loving Grandparents, so is my son. It is amazing in a way how life flips things around.

As  a young girl I watched as my mother and grandmother would leave out every Saturday to go downtown shopping. Some trips they brought things back, often times they came back empty handed. They were never really gone all that long, a few hours here or there and then the car would pull back into the drive and the trip was over. When I got a little older I was invited to go with them some weekends. I learned then the mysteries that went on during those trips. It was a lot of walking and window shopping. Stores that are no longer around invited us in to look around. Some of the stores even had areas to eat. One had the very best, to die for cheese cake. I drank my first cup of coffee here. There was a clothing store that had the best and latest outfits that had me feeling current and trendy. On the corner was a record store that I had to visit, no if's and's or but's about it. Those visits filled over four record boxes. Memories.

  My dad worked out o town a lot, but when he was home, it was special. Dad cleared an area to build a place to play softball. That if you build it they will come is true. Dad taught us how to fish, took us on wondrous vacations, and how to multitask. I didn't know of anyone who could watch a ball game and golf and listen to a race on the radio and know every bit of what was going on.

 Mom tried to teach me how to sew- no hope there. She taught me to respect, to believe in hard work, to ignore and laugh off the insults of others. She taught love.

I was the usual teenager thinking that my parents did not understand me. I was the young adult that felt guilty over mistakes and hurt caused them. No matter the mistakes, they never stopped loving me, and they let me know through words and actions of that love. They helped me escape a bad situation, helped me to get home from half a country away and helped me to heal from the pain. Never asking, never bringing it up. Just glad that I was home.

Living next door I am able to see my parents often. They do not interfere with my life, but they have sure come to my rescue often. Many times we have helped each other, by watching homes and taking care of pets. Living next door, I can see my parents aging. I know that it is a blessing that they are still here. Family history what it is, my dad has lived longer than any other male member of the family. I am so very glad that my son has gotten to know him so well, to be here to help him and learn from him. I'm glad that he has his grandmother to teach him self respect and love.

Now, it is me taking mom shopping. We don't go downtown- the stores once that are long gone. We usually go to the same places, walk the same aisles and fully enjoy each other's company. We may or may not run into people we know, we may get the chance to make new friends. We've found good deals and we've gone home empty handed. But we've always come back fully appreciative of the gift of each other's time and company. I miss my grandparents, they left us much too soon. I'm grateful and understanding in just how much I am blessed in the gift of my family still being with us.

Saturday, August 3, 2013

Blessings of the Heart 101 My Grandparents

    
How does one describe what is true? How does one show gratitude for a blessing so incredible? 


    How does one describe what is true? How does one show gratitude for a blessing so incredible?

    I have told before that I grew up here in this house, on this dead end, narrow dirt road in a rural part of the county. Over the course of time it has become less rural and more crowded as houses are build and people move in around us. Very little, however,  has changed on this road. The artistic side of me, that beats in my heart and flows through my veins wants to share the simple beauty that is this place. No great and grand vistas, no sweeping fields of grass and grains, no grizzles or moose, but a place that is special just as it is.

   When my brothers and I were growing up our grandparents lived next door. Less that the distance of a football field away. I don't know that there were any problems for my parents with them living so close, but I do know that we were given a great gift in their being there. With both of our parents working and dad actually out of town most times, mom would make sure we were up and our Grandmother would come up, stay with us  and make sure we caught the bus. I will forever remember her sitting at that window watching for that big yellow machine to go down the road. We had just a few minutes to get up the road and wait its return. This yellow beast would take us from our dirt road to the real world, crowded with people who had little to no idea of a place I thought so special. Town life to me was a curiosity, something to visit and enjoy but not linger. The noise and activity was interesting, but nothing to give up my love of freedom and privacy for.
 Our Grandparents were strict but loving. Summers- make that life then- were in retrospect, magical times. This was before video games, before hundreds of channels on television and before computers and cell phones. How did we ever live? We lived outdoors. From daylight to dark, we found life outside. Our family not only encouraged it, it was expected. If we so much as dared to think the word, much less speak it, bored quickly became weeding the flowers or pulling the expired buds from stems. It became harvesting the garden, which of course could easily turn into a game of hide and seek among the corn stalks. Bored long forgotten. We played in the sand, creating majestic kingdoms for the small plastic toys to inhabit. The more elaborate the better. We played in the puddles created by summer showers. The muddy red clay squeezed up between bare toes, the puddles becoming oceans and lakes for leaves, bark and sticks to become boats. Riding bikes at full speed through the middle spraying water to the sides and splattering bare legs with red mud.
   We chased and were chased by snakes. I unknowingly have stood barefoot within inches of a large snake only to find out just how fast one in bare feet could run up a rock strewn hillside. We learned how to 'fish' worms from their hole and destroy the tornado shaped home in the sand of a doodle bug in search of the odd little insect. We caught lightening bugs and June bugs.
Imagination was encouraged and strengthened by our Grandfather who supplied many items to our journey from childhood to adult. These woods became our playground. We fought imaginary battles, created homesteads and discovered wondrous things. We hiked, we rode stick horses, we rode our bikes.
 If the summer heat became too much there was always the hammocks under the big Oaks to stretch out and watch the rare breeze make the leaves above do a slow shuffle.
 Meals were of a simple fare. The kind of cooking that lives in memories. Fresh vegetables from the garden, real hot cocoa on winter days, pinto beans and fried taters. Food prepared in a way that would melt in your mouth and have you nearly begging for more.
 Above all, was the love and respect not only taught but lived.
  My Grandparents are long gone now, but I still hear their voices in my memories, I feel the hugs from my Grandmother and remember the wisdom of my Grandfather. We were kids with the tendencies of the young to create mischief, and except for the time I set the woods on fire, all were minor. Even the fire was caught small before it became something in need of real firefighters. I miss my Grandparents, but they live on within us, helping me to realize the great blessing in my life, that they were.

Saturday, July 20, 2013

Racial Problems

            


             
            The conversations continue---as they should. It is the anger, the hatred, the violence, that should end. Discussion is going on across the land(s), everyone weighing in with their opinions and judgments. Some who agree with the verdict, others unhappy. Discussion on how this trial went this way white other incidents of like manner did not. Many across the land calling out for a changing of the laws. Many saying that it was the laws in place that worked. The disagreements are plentiful, the anger, the pain, is obvious. People are speaking out, from the ordinary citizen all the way up to the President, Most claiming the same thing, racial bias. Sadly, the scales of equality are never level, on either side. Violence is not going to make it so.

Violence on begets violence. That does not bring about true and just change. That does not bring about a healthy and equal way of life. That merely brings out anger and actions of revenge retribution. Ignoring the problem of inequality..and I do see it as a problem..only allows it to grow and fester. Creating the opportunity for violent acts to happen time and time again. Discussing it over the water cooler, holding long interviews and reports on the media and social networks brings it to the front of attention, but talk is just that- talk. And talk without action, is not much more than useless.

         Racial problems are not going away until we lose that mindset of distrust and ignorance. The problems will not go away until we educate ourselves on the ways of others so that we can better understand each other. We, the people, need to do this. We need to stop demanding change from the government officials that we have placed in office and make these changes and improvements ourselves. To give them the power and right to burden us with more laws and restrictions is not the answer. It will never be a fix that will make everyone happy, someone- somewhere will not like what they come up with and again the anger and dissatisfaction will appear.

         Racial problems are not going to go away until we change and discard those feelings of entitlement that we carry around with us. Our race, our age, our gender, our religion, our what-ever, entitles us to no special treatments and perks. Citizens of this country -by our Constitution- have rights that are spelled out within its words and amendments. Too many are seeking change, too many are interpreting the words in ways that twist and confuse. Even our Constitution, as good as it is, it not a writ of entitlement to special favors. In past decades those immigrating to this great country accepted the American way of life, learning the laws of the land, conforming to the American way not expecting the Country to change for them, but for them to change (even as they remembered their ancestry) for their new home. In the past, there was no easy pass. The new jumped in and found ways to create and enjoy their new life. Yes, even then there was distrust and racial bias due to ignorance. Proving that this is not a new problem. When the white man first came to this country our ignorance, our distrust, our greed destroyed the way of life for the Native Americans- even as they too fought among themselves- that is how long this has gone on here. Through-out the history of humanity, we have fought amongst ourselves. One group always thinking themselves better than and above another. One group always seeking dominance.

     Racial problems are not going to go away as long as we have groups of people feeding it. When we have groups living on hatred, thriving on anger we will have problems. Standing on street corners, standing in public forums of any sort and calling for violence, will not fix the problem. Riots, marches and looting will not solve the problem. Attacking each other in any form, will not solve the problem. It will call attention to it, but it will not fix it. It will in fact, only bring about more anger, creating more problems. When one side attacks another for a perceived injustice it  creates a never ending cycle of violence. The stink of violence, the ugliness of hatred, creates an atmosphere of despair that effects us all. Sadly, the darker side of man feeds on that despair. Using it for their own purposes.

   Racial problems are not going to go away, as long as we refuse to recognize and hear the other side. As long as we stand cemented in our beliefs, ignorance and intolerance. I am not saying that everyone should immediately accept everything as right and just. I am not saying that because this religion accepts this treatment of certain people then it is an acceptable practice for all. That because this nationality sees breaking certain laws as just, that we should turn a blind eye. Pain, mistreatment, lawlessness, true injustice should never be tolerated. How does one stand true to their moral beliefs, when their moral beliefs, when their interpretation of laws differ?  The United States Declaration of Independence states "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness." Man-and woman-, no matter their race, created equal. Created to walk side by side, working, living, laughing equally.  Not expecting special treatment, not expecting not accepting special treatment- working together to create something special. To build up a great land, not destroy it from within by petty jealousies and ignorance. Not tearing down by expecting others to do the work while they sit and watch. To work together in harmony to create a land where trust and hope thrive. Where honesty and compassion lead, instead of seeking the darkness and violence. Hatred and intolerance are easy emotions to feel, love and acceptance take work. many of us have become lazy.

  Sad thing is, racial problems are never going to go away. We blame the violence on guns, on video games, on immigrants, on movies, on any variety of things. We blame the violence on anything and everything but where it truly lies.  Humanity is never going to form a balance where everyone sees eye to eye on everything. As long as there is one thing that people disagree on, there is going to be someone who cries out that it is an injustice. There is always going to be someone who reacts in fear and anger. There is always going to be someone that seeks to use and abuse others. Laws are meant for others. The human body, an amazing creation, is strong when treated well. When one introduces drugs and other unhealthy substances to their body it becomes weak, addicted, craving the bad which then leads the body to do what ever it can to get that substance, even if it is illegal. There is always going to be those who seek power, that power can and often does corrupt when means that man will abuse those he perceives to be beneath him. There is always going to be someone who sees others as less important therefore disposable. Unless we can change our mindset, unless we can rid ourselves of the fear and ignorance, until we can rid our heart of the sin of hate, unless and until we can see each other as equal, to find the compassion and God-given love that we are meant to have, injustices of any type are never going away. Racial problems, are a cancer of community, eating away at our humanity. Until we seek the cure for it as we seek the cure and prevention of cancer of the body- it will thrive and destroy.

Tuesday, July 16, 2013

He had a dream, in the years since, what have we done to it?


where are we on the road to reality?

    Martin Luther King in a well known speech said, "I have a dream..............." His dream was for equality. His dream was for peace. What are we as a nation, no matter our color, no matter our race, no matter our education or social status, what are we doing to this dream?                           This morning I wrote a piece on some of what I am seeing and hearing about going on around us. I've been reading commentaries and the comments afterward on what people think of the trail and verdict. While I know, there is no need to clarify but I will. I am talking about the George Zimmerman/ Trayvon Martin trial in Florida.
 My thoughts on the trial itself are not what I intent to focus on with this writing. I will say that the killing of Trayvon should not have happened just like any other non-war related killing- and many of even those-- should not have happened. It would not have happened if George Zimmerman had remained in his vehicle. But he didn't. We will never know all of what happened that night. I fear that the facts have been so twisted out of shape that the whole truth is now unknown to anyone here on this earth. We can only listen to the newscasters, and the conversations around us along with reading the multitude of writings in the newspapers, magazines and in the many comments and online blogs. The one thing that I am seeing more than truth, is anger. Truth-all- truth, has been trampled. We have been fed in bits and pieces what they wanted us to have, and many have readily swallowed it creating the problems that are showing up all across this country.

     Martin Luther King had a dream. Yes, I realize that in his speech he was talking to a black audience. Can we not- all of us- take this speech and the words he spoke to heart? In this same speech he spoke of love, of brotherhood, of white and black children walking hand in hand. Many of our children have that. It is only after listening to the voices around them that they lose the innocence and trust and being to feel, speak and act in a racially biased way. Children do not know hate, mistrust, prejudice.. it is something they have to be taught. Our children are being taught by our very actions and words. You can not love and hate at the same time. Our children, the young people of this time, they are the future. To teach them as we have been, is not only wrong, it is unfair to them. I have gotten to the point where I often wonder, who it is among us that is the most mature when it comes to race relations. I believe that we could take lessons from our own children.

 Time has a way of healing wounds, of teaching lessons, to those who will accept. Time has a way of allowing for change, if we make the move and don't allow the chance to get away. To get change, we have to create it. We have to take the time to hunt it down and own it. To do that, we have to stop and look around. Does blocking highways, looting stores, doing physical harm to innocents really work toward the goal of equality and a better society all around? Or is it merely a sign of anarchy?  Many of the posts that I have read the writers have great skill in their writing, in their thought process and getting that thought down so that it is easily understood. Our greatest of oratory commentators seem bent on creating more anger and division. Instead of using their talent to bring about peace and the desire to work toward the realization of a dream. They are verbally and through their prose being as destructive as those gathering in mass and marching down the streets of cities and towns looking for something or someone to take their anger out on. Don't take it out on the innocent. Use the emotions that are running high to create something good. Something worth while, something that will in the future help to prevent the death of another young man, no matter the color of their skin.

Martin Luther King had a dream, a good dream, a very worth while dream. But, then in the sixties and now in 2013 it is still a dream. For every step we take forward, there are many who seem hell bent and determined to shove us back. At times, we do it to ourselves. How can we work toward bringing a dream into a reality? Not by marching and shouting threats. Not by going onto the many social medias and trashing each other. We make changes by  hard work and determination. We take the time to educate ourselves, support the schools and help the educators by understanding the importance and working to make it better. Teaching our kids that there are certain ways of behaving in public. There are ways of behaving in school. There is something called respect and how to show it. Respect is something that should be shown to others right up until they show they are not worthy of it. Respect for ourselves and treating ourselves with respect. Realizing that it is better to work hard for what we have, to work toward the goal that we hold treasured in our heart and not sit and expect it to be handed it us. Jobs are difficult if not impossible to find, the determined who cannot find employment, create their own. You don't have to rob your neighbor or the person on the street to survive. You don't have to sell drugs or join gangs.  There are people all around who have taken the step to create their own jobs, landscaping, house cleaning, setting up sites online to sell crafts or services they offer. This land was built on the backs of hardworking people who believed in this country. People who knew and understood that to survive and grow they had to work together. If we are to get past this, if we are to honor a teenager lost to violence- no matter who was at fault. If we are to honor the many hundreds who are killed daily across this country then we have to learn to stand strong. Not blindly follow the misinformation that is being fed to us. Not accepting the bits and pieces as whole.

Martin Luther King had a dream. It is still possible, it is not unreachable. But we have to get past the anger and lack of trust. We have to stop with the name calling and hatred. We have to stand up tall and strong and declare, Do not know me by what you see on the outside, take time to know me by who I am inside, by my heart, my faith, my love, my inner most person. Know me by the things I do to improve the circumstances around us. We have to be more, be better than the thugs and gangster wannabe's, we have to take pride in ourselves and humanity. We have to grow up and understand that life is not fair, it is not easy, it is not always going to go the way we want it to go. We have to grow up, now if we ever want to see a dream, become a reality.

Divisive by Design..

Good morning all. As in mornings past I was sitting here enjoying that first cup of coffee, watching the day brighten outside my window and surfing the web. News, information, photographs and more all waiting to be read, viewed and absorbed. Through it all, emotions are strong. Not all of it good. We have and are allowing the media to direct us and feed upon our divisiveness.
Yes, a wrong has been done. A young man is dead, another man's life in ruins because of his actions. We do not know all the facts, we know what we have been fed. Whether or not I think justice was served is not the point of this status. We are right in being concerned over a young man's death, but, we should be just as concerned over ALL of the deaths, not just this one. Those that are in the news for one day or for several then fade away. The young and the not as young. The children who are grabbed from front yards by strangers and the children who vanish along with non-custodial parents. The young and the not so young that die by the hands of anyone.
We need to be concerned over the deaths of those who find themselves involved in things from the dark side. Drug deals gone bad, robberies of any sort, disagreements whose only way of solving is through violence because we no longer understand any other way.
We need to be concerned over the deaths of convenience.
We are allowing the media and the many social networks set up to allow us to vent our venom on and about those we do not understand. Those who are different. We are allowing the mass media to divide us even more. I know and understand that there are differences among us.
Southern is not northern nor western. Each have their different manners and ways of doing things. Among them all there are the intelligent and the not so intelligent. I have read the comments from both sides. Each side has their compassionate and their heartless. All sides have those who are racist, who have beliefs, ideas and opinions that are set in stone and nothing will sway them. Cruelty is universal. We have become a people so ready to jump and scream about injustice and racism, about inequality and phobias, about all of what we see as bad. Ready to jump and scream but not so ready to roll up our sleeves and open our hearts and work toward a better understanding among the different.
We need to stop screaming and insulting each other and start trying to improve and make better. Riots and marches get momentary attention, but then it fades and what has been accomplished? Insulting your neighbor who is of a different nationality, educational level, religion..etc.. possibly gives you a momentary satisfaction, but what about five minutes later? What have you accomplished? What have you made better?
Would that not be there better justice for a young person's death? That in the end, we come to a better understanding, that we come together better as a people? That we no longer see color, clothing, nationalities- we see humanity and work to make it better, stronger, more unified?