Monday, July 3, 2017

Mind, Body and Nerves, How exhausted can one be?

                             I am exhausted and my body already hurts. I can only imagine how bad its going to get, but I'm proud of my accomplishments even if I did get into an argument with an automated phone system today, not once but twice.
                              Where I work closed up shop for a week for the Independence Day Holiday. When you add in the weekends, that is ten days off from work and here at home. My vehicle is not in good enough shape to go anywhere of any distance, not by myself anyway and my son has to work. I fear time spent not doing anything because the loss of my husband overwhelms me. Time spent doing nothing allows too much time for thoughts and memories. So the plan was to spend as much time as possible, doing work around the house. I even took photos of some of the work that needed to be done and shared them in an earlier blog:

                             Last Friday, June 30th, I began the needed work. James had drug out our old Murray power mower the day before and made sure that I had gas for it. Early in the morning I began mowing. Part of what I did, I really didn't want to as the travelers up and down our dirt road just seem to automatically believe the road got wider. I haven't caught anyone driving in my yard, and I hope it remains that way as I do have flowers out there. I mowed along the front, both sides of the drive, down between the two paths and behind the house. Behind the house up to a point. There was this one area that I did not believe that little, aging power mower, could manage. I also pushed the mower down and mowed the grass that was growing knee high along the fence around my garden. I did stop several times to allow me and the mower to cool off. I wanted to stay busy, I did not want a heat stroke. I decided that I had done enough and stopped to run to the bank and other errands.

                            I made a call at one point, to make sure that the gentleman over the monument place had received the check I mailed and he told me he had and that my husband's headstone was in place. I called mom and asked if she wanted to go up and see it with me. So we drove up to see the marker. It did turn out very nice. I was glad. Sad, but glad.
                             Saturday and Sunday I didn't do much of anything yard work wise. Friday had done me in and I needed to catch up.
                           Which brings me to today, I don't know if I'm determined or stubborn or stupid. I do know that I am exhausted, body, mind and nerves. I went outside early this morning and took that little mower that could and a pair of hedge clippers and set out for "that" area. I started the mower and set to work. I could mow some and then had to stop and move fallen branches or cut down poke plans that were towering over my head. It took a while, and I did stop once, but I managed to get it mowed and cleared.

 That mower is several years old, with a blade that could definitely benefit from sharpening, but amazing as it is, that thing managed. I'm wondering if in its mower dreams it sees itself as a bush hog, because that is exactly what it acted like today. I managed to get all of the small trees and shrubbery cut away from the house and all of those vines pulled down. the house could use a good power washing, but that isn't something I care to do right yet.

 Between all of this, I went by our wireless carrier and spoke with a customer service rep, there. Nice lady who explained everything and eased my confusion. She also told me that I had over paid with the final payment in my husband's name and that they owed me money. Then, I get home to find a letter in the mail saying I owed them that amount. So I had to do what I had been avoiding and called customer service. I spoke with a very nice lady who listened, asked a couple of questions and then asked me to hold on. When she came back she told me that they in fact did owe me not the other way around. I asked her if she could make sure the account said that or send me a statement or something as I didn't want any account showing a delinquency. She said that wouldn't be a problem and I could hear her typing- something. I then try to set up an account online since the other had been closed when I changed the account. I needed a pin number I didn't have so back on the phone to the wireless people. this time I got a gentleman who sounded very young. He was however very patient with me and guided me step by step through what I needed.
                       Then, thinking I was on a roll, I decided to call another account that I thought had been paid off but was showing I owed just over $5. Now I know that isn't much, but I needed to make sure that when I paid that, there would be no more bills. Calling the account's customer service I reached the automated system. I really didn't know you could get into an argument with one of those but I did. Not once but twice. First time they hung up on me. ? The second time I finally reached a real live person who answered my questions. NOW, that account it paid off.
                        My mind and my body are some how not on speaking terms or the same page or something. As tired as I was by then, something somewhere decided that I could do more yard work. That is when I go out to take on that giant briar bush growing on a large section of my fence. The little mower that could, could not handle that. Taking the clippers I began taking out one long branch at a time. Most of the briars appeared to be dead anyway. I had left it because it kept a large part of the view of the back yard blocked and I hoped that would keep the dogs from barking so much. I was wrong, so now, it had to go. I cut a lot from the inside and drug what I cut off and piled inside the kennel we don't use. I'm composting the mess in there, so I just added to it. I got it cut to the point where I went through the house and around the back and slowly cut and pulled until I peeled it away from the fence. I then dragged that mess down to the pile I had made in the woods.
                           Hurting, tired beyond belief, my arms scratched up from the briars, I went back inside the house and picked up the camera. 

I walked around the house and yard taking photos of what I've managed to accomplish so far. There were times during the day when I kept thinking I heard footsteps, even though I was the only one there. I can only imagine and hope,  that my husband is looking down thinking, "Its about time" and "It looks good honey, you did a good job." I can't help but wish I could call him up, and or drag him around the house going, "see, what do you think?" I want him to know that I'm not neglecting things. Even though I know that he's in a much better place, even though he's healthy again, happy again, I do miss him.
                            I have six more days to keep filled before I go back to work.

  #thelittlemurraymowerthatcould     this is a tough mower, even though I wouldn't recommend treating one the way I did, this one took it like a champ.

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