Count down to 60--- My heart hurts

my heart hurts
my spirit weeps
memories remain
feeling the pain
my heart hurts
the sadness strong
because of something, so wrong
my heart hurts
from a wound still fresh
no matter the years gone by
my heart cries
never forget, never forget
never forget

(With trembling hands and tear filled eyes, I write this)

Tomorrow is the anniversary of horrors in this land, we never expected. Horrors that we never believed would happen here. Tomorrow is 9-11, fifteen years later.

 We, who are old enough know, that on September 11, 2001, planes were flown into the Twin Towers in New York City. Mere moments apart. We, who are old enough, remember vividly where we were, what we were doing at that moment. Myself, I was at work, blissfully unaware of the events going on until someone from the front office passed by and told me. I all but called them a liar, I could not believe any such thing could happen here. How many others like me, were in total disbelief?

When the first plane hit the North Tower of the World Trade Center at 8:46am, it was thought to be an accident. People were scrambling to get there to help. Then the second plane flew into the South Tower at 9:03am, giving everyone the shocking realization, that this was no accident. Bridges and tunnels were closed, all flights were grounded, but that did not prevent more tragedies. At 9:37am hijackers flew a plane into the Pentagon. At  10:07 am –  a final hijacked plane is crashed into a field in Somerset County, Pennsylvania.

All day at work, every opportunity I got, I was up  in the front office trying to learn what was happening. The television they had was small and the reception terrible, but it was enough to see. I spent the day in near shock. This could not be happening here, not in this country, but it had and it was. In my trips back and forth to the front office, trips that I would have been taking anyway as I carried paperwork, I couldn't help but notice the now eerily quiet and empty skies.

Over the course of the next few days, the coverage was nonstop and everywhere. Slowly more information became available, but that did not ease the great sadness. One thing that did happen, we came together as a nation. Where the terrorists thought they would break us, they made us stronger. Almost immediately you could not find an American flag in stores, but you could see them. They flew from manufactured flagpoles, they flew from makeshift flag poles. They were in trees, they were on front porches. Small flags were everywhere. They flew from cars on the roadways. We were standing together as one nation, one people. Race, age, religion, none of that matter in that moment. We were Americans and we were saddened by the loss of so many and we were angry that someone thought they could simply waltz right in and do this.

When the planes flew into the towers, first responders rushed to the rescue. They did what they had been trained to do, they went to work and they brought so many out of those buildings. Yet, so many of them, also lost their lives in their quest to save lives. The rubble that was left after the towers fell was searched for days in the hopes of just one more life found. Those who had lost loved ones kept a vigil, hoping, praying for that just one more.

How many years have passed, the time moving on, ever forward. How many days since this day in 2001? How many moments, have people spent missing one of those lost? How many hold that pride in what they know their loved one did, or attempted to do, on that day? How many, will watch the videos, attend the memorials, watch or read the news reports telling of this event, with trembling hands, tear filled eyes and wounded heart? How many, will remember, that sight of the planes as they entered into those buildings and remember the pain of loss?

That day, as strong as we became, we were changed. Taking a flight, became a lot less simple. Laws were in enacted and people became to some degree, a bit more fearful. What could not, should not have happened here, did. Could it, would it, happen again?

We are less naive now, but we are less trusting, less open. Even among ourselves. Where once we welcomed others with open arms, we now fear and villainies those we do not understand. We carry guns, pepper spray or other methods of protection, things we felt no need for once.

My dream and wish, is that we could find our path, the one we have wandered from. I wish, that we could remember that we are one nation, made up of many different people of many different types. We are Christian, we are atheist, we are young and old, we are rich or poor. We are many, we are one. Our skin color should not matter, our faith should not matter. The size of our home or the dollars in our wallets, should not matter. Our politicians should remember, this land and its people are what is important and should work to join and not separate us. We should stand strong, fly and respect the flag not desecrate it. Tearing things down, destroying property does not make us better, or stronger or make improvements to what we think needs improving. The only way to make improvements is to work together and build up.

The ones who we lost on this day not that long ago, those who have fought for this country, those who still believe in this country, would want that. They would expect that. In memory of them, I ask that.

Tomorrow, is the anniversary of a sad day. My heart, in its memories, hurts.

my heart hurts
my spirit weeps
memories remain
feeling the pain
my heart hurts
the sadness strong
because of something, so wrong
my heart hurts
from a wound still fresh
no matter the years gone by
my heart cries
never forget, never forget
never forget