The insurance guy called today. He asked if the death certificate had arrived yet and I told him that it had arrived. So he's coming out tomorrow to pick up a copy. Funny, I really would have thought he wanted a certified copy but he said that I could make a copy with my printer and they would accept that. I will have a certified copy ready just in case though. A letter came today from one of the retirement plans you had. They said in the letter that they had been checking with social security and that you were listed as no longer living and they wanted to make sure, because if you were no longer living they were going to stop any payments. I didn't get to call today, but I will call Wednesday afternoon and ask them, "What payments, they've never sent any payments as you never started it." Sad, how all that money you paid into that is now gone. Someone else, somewhere else will get it. But, you told me that time and again, if you died, there would be no money. So, there will be no money.
It is what it is I guess. I'm sure that I will get a letter from the other one soon, letting me know the same thing.
All of this seems so surreal. There is so very much to do and I have no idea what I'm trying to accomplish. I have learned to ask questions, a lot of questions. Thankfully those I'm asking are patient with me and answer all they can the best they can. As much as I hate GPS devices, I almost wish I had one to help me navigate this. My luck though I'd end up in a lake somewhere. Or in some back, dead end alley like we did that time we were trying to find my high school reunion over in Charlotte, remember that one?
Ronnie, the funeral director is getting me the direct phone number to the clerk of probate court for your will. I've been trying to find it but there are so many numbers and I got very confused and gave up. I really didn't want to call the wrong number and look foolish. Of course that shouldn't be anything new, I've done that a couple of times already. I don't know what this is going to cost, but I'll find out. I was told that its best to go ahead and go through probate, just to cover my backside. I have your will, might as well do it right. I'll have to change mine now, I'll do it eventually and I'll keep my promise I made about taking care of things.
I'm going to keep your truck. I'll have it put in my name so we'll have it when we need it. I'll have to find out what all I need to do though, as again, its another one of those things I have no clue about. James got it inspected and even paid the taxes and bought the sticker for it. So I bought him a new pair of steel toed boots, he's really rough on those things, but you know that.
I've already let Abilene know about the death certificate and emailed them a copy so they could get things started. Once I get that I can pay for your funeral and put the rest toward your headstone. I know you, and I know that you won't want anything really fancy. I do hope to get something nice though, you at least deserve that much.
You always ask me, have I done this, have I done that, is this or that paid, how much money do you have? Well you don't need that any more, and I'm trying really trying to get everything done but its so hard and I really don't want to do all this. What I really want is you, alive and complaining. I want you calling and asking questions. I want you alive and asking if we're eating at home or the Cracker Barrel. I want you alive and complaining about going to New York or Jersey or Chicago. But that isn't going to happen.
so I answer one more call
I open one more letter
I'll take one more step
and I'll miss you even more every single day.