Sunday, April 30, 2017

Love so Deep

 You didn't often vocalize your love. You yelled when angry. You cussed when frustrated. You gave the silent treatment when you felt it justified. You found it difficult though, to say those three words out loud. You would say it on occasion, which made it that much more special, but you did something that made the speaking part of it less important, you showed it. You lived that love, and that spoke louder than any words ever could.
 You showed it, by doing a job that was in no way easy. You, who was accustomed to being home every day, who knew exactly what you were going to do when, had to make great changes. When the place you worked shut down, and you had to find other employment, that lack of a high school diploma made that nearly impossible. That was when you had to make a decision that took you from everything you knew, and everything you were accustomed to and put you into an entirely different world.  Your home became an eighteen wheeler and your place of business was the entire country. You went from being home every day, to being home once a month, more only if your runs took you close to home.  You did it, so you could provide for us. So that we could remain in the lifestyle that we knew, the place we were comfortable. You did it, so bills would be paid, food could be bought and maybe, when the dollars were there, we could do something fun. You sacrificed home time, for us, because of your love for us.
 You showed it, by the things you would do when you were home. The things you would repair or help repair. The things that you would take care of outside, mowing lawns or cutting weeds. You did it, by helping with getting the trash hauled away. Actions.
 You were not one to speak, but you knew how to buy. When the money was there, if I wanted a flower, or needed a new dress, you would get it without question. You would go for take out food, and bring me back a pie, or if you made a run to town, you brought back a candy bar for me. Because you loved me.
  You didn't have the greatest sense of humor, but you put up with mine, and you were learning. It was amazing and exciting when you would allow that humor to show. I don't know how many times James or I would say something that you either didn't know how to take, or would simply look as us as if we had lost our mind, but then there were times, when you would smile. Some comment, some joke, some silly act, had touched that funny bone and create that smile. Those times when I was taking pictures and you grew weary of the camera pointing at you and you would make one of those faces at me. But you didn't tell me to stop, because of that love.
  You teased me about my love of hats, but you tolerated my wearing them. You commented on my solar light collection, but you helped me add to the growing light show. You loved watching television in bed but many nights you would turn the television off and go in the other room so I could sleep when I had to get up for work the next morning.
The list could go on and on, but I just wanted it said, that even though you rarely said it, you showed it, every single day, in the only ways you knew how. You lived it.

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