Tuesday, April 4, 2017

With only a few words, everything changed

How could a day, that started out so innocently, become such a nightmare?

"March 7 at 5:11am ·
growing kittens..... its like living in a house with living squeak toys.... toys that get even if you accidentally step on one..."
My husband and I had rescued a mother cat and her litter of five precious babies. She had her brood in our storage building, it was still winter and guaranteed to still have cold weather, the babies would not have survived out there. So we found a box, we gathered them all up and brought them inside. That was February 6th. They were happy, healthy and a mass of growing kitten claws and teeth.

" March 7 at 5:29am ·
good morning all-
One of those contacts do not want to go in right morning so I'm now running late...
may your day be a wonderful adventure filled with things that bring a laugh, fond memories and hope.
be safe
be well
be blessed
be the difference.."

I have to be at work at 6am. I had time, if I wanted to be there right at six, but I prefer being early, so to get a decent place to park and because one never knows what might happen between here and there.
 Just before 9am, I called my husband. I couldn't understand what he was saying at first, he got agitated at me, hung up and then called me back. I asked if he was okay and he said no. When I asked what was wrong he asked me "What do you think?" Before I could really answer, he said, "let me go" and hung up. Every break after that I tried to call him, getting no answer.
My whole world tilted and broke when I got the call at 4pm telling me that my husband had been found deceased in his truck. It was running but parked with the windows rolled down. He was sitting, slumped over on his bunk. From what I understand, this was right around 11am. Help was called, but there was nothing that could be done. I left work shaking, numb, in shock, and wondering how in the world I was going to tell our son. Yes, he is grown, but it was still his dad, and then I had my step-daughter to call. I pulled into the drive and got out of the car to hear my mother calling me. When I told her that Jr. was dead, she said that she knew, James had been down to tell her. So, James knew, because someone from where my husband worked had called and told him. He didn't want to, but he was concerned that the police would show up and catch us unaware. 
So much after that is a blur. Family came, my step daughter called James and then he gave the phone to me. I told her what little I knew and then went outside to wait on the police.
The guy from our life insurance who had been scheduled to come by for a visit to update our insurance came by and we talked for a few moments. He said he would do what he could to get things started. The police officer who came was so nice, so polite, so respectful. He said he had been on the force for 28 years and this was the first time he had to deliver such a message. I felt badly for him.
All the while, even as I spoke with the various people who came by, who called, who sent word, all the while I kept waiting on my phone to ring with him asking me what I hadn't called him. 
In my head are the words echoing "No, T... No! (name left out for their privacy) It still echoes, within my head and heart. 
 Everyone kept asking if I was okay. I was in too much of a state of shock not to be. The Associate Pastor came by and spoke with James. The Pastor called asking what was going on. He was out of town but was getting some odd messages.
 People began to wander slowly away, as the hour grew late. We had been sitting on the front porch, watching the sunlight fade and the solar lights come on. AS the last person left, as the night grew chilly, I wet inside, closed the door and locked it. I looked around, I took a breath. I headed for bed, all the while waiting on the phone to ring.

1 comment:

  1. The tiny details of such days will always be clear and near....Prayers that in time you will be able to recall them with less pain...xxoo