Monday, January 31, 2011

Captain Clumsy hates cold

Sunday, was this incredibly beautiful day. You couldn't ask for better here at the end of January. The sun was bright and warm, the temperature was in the seventies- I was out in short sleeves walking. Scaring up birds and soaking up the outdoors that I haven't been able to enjoy for so long.

I hate cold. Many people have heard me say that. I mean it. I don't do winter sports. My winter sport is trying to best my time in running from the house to the car.

I don't know how to ski, won't learn either. The main reason being that Captain Clumsy here knows her limitations. If I stumble walking across a perfectly level floor with nothing on it- then I'm not putting on skies. If I can manage to walk into a support beam at work, bang my head on bars that stick out for some unknown reason.. then I know that every tree on the mountain would be out for me. I also have this fear of heights thing that makes those ski lifts a thing from my nightmares.

I don't ice skate. For some of the same reasons that I don't ski. And for the fact that Captain Clumsy here would be the one that managed to find the weakest spot in the ice. I don't swim either.

I have tried to build snow people on the occasions that we have enough snow. Unfortunately, I can't try and build your average size snowman.. mine has to be some gargantuan thing that is impossible to get its head on. So I usually end up with an eight foot tall headless snow person in my yard that causes my dogs to bark until they are hoarse. I hate when that happens as it is much more expensive to feed a horse than it is a dog.. plus they need a much bigger home.

I tried to build a snow fort, that.. was a real nightmare. All of these zoning people showed up demanding to see my plans. They wanted to know if I had all of the necessary permits and had paid all of the proper fees. I had to have the construction site marked off and signs up for safety. They told me I needed a porta john for the workers- (that's me.. and I live right over there>>) no good, had to have the porta potty..with fire codes (??for snow?) and housing codes and rental agreements and insurance agreements and finding some way around some weird zoning ordinance I finally threw my hands up and had the entire thing condemned.

Snow cream? Yum- until the health inspectors showed up. Wanted to know if my supply was clean, sanitary, new or old snow.. what my ingredients were and if I had enough supply for demand and if I had the proper permits for making and sharing snow cream.

I love taking pictures of snow. And I will walk around in it for hours, especially if my boots don't get filled with snow like the last time when I managed to slide down a hill without a sled. I did manage to miss all of the trees between me and the bottom.. but my bottom was then wet and cold and I was ready for home and a steaming cup of hot cocoa.

I hate cold..

and after such a beautiful, gorgeous, sunny false spring day. Teasing and tormenting- cold has returned. And I can't get a fire to burn right in the woodstove. And hubby will be back soon and need someone to help get the stuff in the back of his trailer straightened out. But.. I will be thankful...all I'm dealing with is cold. He will soon be headed out toward where its snowing..

I'll quit whining. and start praying... for his safety and for an early spring..

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