Saturday, January 1, 2011

She-- (ongoing write)

. She was excited. It had been a long time since there had been any reason to be excited, but it was her birthday, and for some silly reason, she was excited. He was watching her, but she ignored him for the most part. Every once in a while she would glance in his direction and offer a smile. He hated being ignored or feeling as if he were, so she'd look up just for a moment then back to the cleaning at hand. He had told her that they were going to the neighbor's for a while once she finished. He didn't offer any explanations, but it didn't matter. When the last dish was dried and put away she dried her hands on the dishtowel and draped it across the drainer. Turning she was momentarily startled, she had not heard him move so close behind her. Usually she could sense his presence, but she had allowed her unreasonable excitment to distract her. That was not good. Draping his arm over her shoulders he turned her toward the steps.

"I have a surprise for you." he said as she made her way down the stairs. She didn't look back, she hated these steep stairs and did not trust them for a minute. They ended abruptly at the bottom, with only a couple of feet of space and a cement floor they were dangerous.

Going out the door she absently ran her hand across the dog's head as she walked to the gate. Getting in the car she watched as he took his place behind the wheel. He had been drinking. she hated riding with him when he had been drinking but usually she had no choice. This was one of those times. Thankfully the neighbor's they were going to was only two blocks away. She watched as he started the car, then turned her attention to the sights passing outside her window. Two blocks, she could handle two blocks.

When the car pulled into the driveway she looked at the other cars already parked there. Recognizing them she looked back at him. He grinned a Cheshire cat grin and motioned for her to go on inside. Just as she reached the door it swung open and she heard her name being called. Wrapped in a big hug she was practically pulled into the house. She loved this house and this family. They were her home away from home. They made things more bearable. As she stepped inside she heard the shouts of 'happy birthday!' A surprise party, they had planned a surprise party.

What was eaten, whether there was a meal, a cake or drinks wasn't important. The gifts that were given that night, wasn't important. It was the fact that so many friends had come together and even with limited funds had gotten her gifts. She laughed, she cried, she had a blast.

Then, suddenly, she felt the change in the air. Glancing over her shoulder she saw the expression on his face. He was not the center of attention. He had been ignored for too long. She knew better than to do that, but she had gotten all wrapped up in this and forgotten. She would pay, she knew she would pay.

"Time to go," was all he said. She got up and began collecting her gifts. He even helped to carry some of them to the car. She offered to drive. He drained the last of the beer in his hand and reached for another. All the while tightening his grip on the keys. She wasn't driving tonight. She thought she would walk home, but that wasn't to be either. Grabbing her by the arm he lead her to the car and opening her door roughly helped her into her seat. Buckling her seat belt she watched him as he came around the car.

When he sat down heavily she cringed. When he had trouble getting the key in the ignition she hoped. But the keys went in and the car fired right up. He eased back out of the driveway and turned toward their apartment. Maybe it will be okay after all she thought. When they reached the stop sign he turned and headed toward home. When he passed she it sank into the seat. This was not good. He drove around the block and then was once again headed toward home. Suddenly without warning he increased pressure on the gas petal. The car began to accelerate rapidly. Within moments the old car was doing 80, in a 35. She clung to the side of the door as the car kept speeding up. Just before they reached the stop sign he hit the brakes. The car slid through the stop sign and into the intersection. Regaining control he drove once more around the block. At the same location as before he pushed down heavily on the accelerator, causing the car to gain speed quickly. Once again it was moving in excess of 80 as she watched everything outside pass in a blur. Once more he slammed on the brakes and slid into the intersection. Before she could catch her breath he was driving around the block.

For the third time he shoved his foot down on the accelerator. For the third time she buried her head in her arms and held on tightly. This time, she decided enough was enough. Terrified she waited. Once again the spedometer reached 80, just as he reached the stop sign he hit the brakes. As the car slid around the corner into the intersection she made her move. Before he could speed up she shoved the car door open and jumped. Rolling briefly she jumped and ran. Hurring through the dark she made her way home. She didn't have her keys so she ran to the farthest corner of the yard and hid under brush that she had hidden under before. Trembling she waited.........

Do not believe an abuser when they say that no one else would ever care for you, no one else could- would ever love you. Never believe an abuser when they tell you how they act is your fault.. its a lie..their actions are their own, under their control or lack of control. If you are in an abusive relationship-- get out- get out now, there are people willing and ready to help you..


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